| Fan Fiction |
by Pseudonym
The chapter was too long, so I chopped it in half since as of late the chapters have been too long. Sorry for lack of coherency in the chap, didn't have time to edit. Love yahz and thank you again!
Chapter 43
Jaejoong
When I woke up, my head felt like a thousand barrels of water were squashed inside of it. It not only felt heavy but it was pounding viciously.
Stirring a little, I flinched when something rough dug into my wrists. When I tried to look at my wrists to see what was wrong with them only to feel that pinching pain again. Shifting again made me realize that my hands were bound behind me.
It took me a while, but I eventually roused awake. As my laden eyelids cracked open, the first thing I felt was a dull throbbing pain on the right side of my head. My ear felt like many of cotton had been stuffed inside it.
Before I could try to understand that or why my hands were tied behind me, a deep voice stating ‘he’s woken up’ echoed throughout my mind.
It was only when I tried to open my eyes a little bit more that I realized my right eye was nearly swollen shut, throbbing along with the rest of my right side. My blurry vision came into focus as I tried to adjust to my dark surroundings.
“Hero?”
The familiar voice brought my head up—but only for a couple of seconds. Moving it hurt so much that my head dangled back down when I strained to lift it up.
The dragging of a chair followed before a dark silhouette sat before me.
“How are you feeling?”
Even in a state of delirium, I knew that the smooth deep voice belonged to Soon.
As lazy and out of it as I felt, I tensed all over.
This time I lifted my head slowly only to find him with cuts and bandaids on his face. His lip was swollen and discolored, all because of yours truly.
“Not too good I suppose.” He sat in on a desk in front of me. Several moments of quiet and confusion followed until it dawned on me where I was.
In Soon’s office at LN headquarters.
From the corner of my eyes, I swore I saw someone. When I turned my head, I indeed saw someone. One of the men that was there during the beating of Park Jong Hun. I stared at him for a moment, noticing how rugged he looked in comparison to Soon’s squeaky clean image. Even though this guy wore a tailored suit that looked worth millions, the smug expression on his face took away from all the class of the outfit.
“DaeGun,” Soon suddenly called and when the guy turned to accommodate Soon I spotted a garish scar along the entire side of his face.
“Get the laptop…and hand me your knife when you’re done.”
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the word knife sent an unsettling feeling through me. I was taken aback. But for some reason, I wasn’t even scared.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that this DaeGun character wasn’t the only one in attendance. There were other men, hidden in the shadows of Soon’s yet to be lit office. Men that I realized I had seen throughout the years but never truly paid attention to. I just saw them as some of the bodyguards and drivers that came and went. They were as important to me as the stranger in the taxi’s driver’s seat or the grocer at the supply store.
When DaeGun returned with the laptop, Soon set it on his desk. Then he regarded me again, clasping his hands in front of him.
“What you did the last time we had an encounter, was highly appreciated. As your elder, your behaviors towards me have been highly unappreciated. But also as someone who has invested in you for so long, for you to turn on me like that without even hearing me out, truly breaks my heart. Jaejoong, didn’t you know that you were always my favorite? I looked out for you. I took care of you. For you to accuse me of such heinous things, do you know how much that hurt me?”
I kept my head down, not because I was too ashamed to look him in the eye. Neither was I fearful. My head just hurt. Keeping it up hurt. It felt like a bowling ball was rolling inside of it. And my damned ear wouldn’t stop ringing.
“And now your fans are so hurt, they were actually trying to protect you from her. and you show no remorse for your actions whatsoever?”
His words made me angry, but I refused to let him succeed in getting used to me. The trust card in Soon had long since been revoked. Nothing he did or said from now on would ever make me trust him again. Granted I was wrong for wrongfully hitting him, a part of me felt it was well deserved in regards to other situations. To all the lies. To all the control.
He sighed heavily and shoved his hands in his pockets as he stood. “I brought you here for one thing and one thing only Jaejoong. I want you to apologize.”
I remained still. I would die first before he got an apology from me. And even after death, in the afterlife, I would never apologize.
“Apologize Jaejoong. This is your chance. This is your chance to be welcomed into my family. I’m giving you an exclusive option that the other boys don’t even know. I’ll induct you into Big Time Killers if you submit.”
I was shocked, but didn’t move. So Big Time Killers did exist. I couldn’t help but think of Soon as a fool for the first time in my life. But I couldn’t fault him. He probably still thought me as the old Jaejoong who apologized for so much as breathing. I knew where his train of thought lay. He thought I would feel guilty for disowning the fans. Since he knew he was basically my passport to getting to them, he knew I’d have no choice but to bow to his every word and beg him to let me back in even if it meant selling my soul to Big Time Killers like I had sold my soul to LN Entertainment.
What he didn’t know was that I didn’t care.
I just didn’t give a f*ck anymore.
“Jaejoong, this is your last chance to apologize. You do know that I never let anyone walk over me the way you have. Don’t try your luck. Apologize.” All sense of calm was out of Soon’s voice as it rose along with his temper.
Keeping my head down, I remained quiet.
“Hand me the knife,” he asked one of his men firmly.
I didn’t move a muscle.
Calloused fingers suddenly scraped my skin as Soon trapped my jaw and jerked my head backwards. There was a wild hot rage in his eyes. They crackled with a fury I couldn’t begin to fathom.
And even if I tried, those thoughts were thrown out the window when a flash suddenly assaulted my eye. It came from the moonlight’s reflection on the polished steel of a knife held at close range with my eye.
Days ago had I been faced with such a situation I would’ve been screaming, begging my heart out to be released.
But tonight, I was still as a river on a windless night. Calm as the wind on a sunny afternoon.
And as emotionless as a heart made of stone.
Soon did not scare me.
At this point, nothing did.
“Why wont you apologize?!” he roared in my face. “Why?! Is it because of her?! she has ruined everything Jaejoong! Can’t you see?! Everyone’s life has been ruined by her and you don’t care?! Are you that f*cking selfish?! What about Yunho? And Micky, and Junsu? Changmin?! Do those names mean anything to you?!?!?! What about everyone else at LN Entertainment?! Do you know you’ve taken away everything from them?! And for what?!
“It’s all over the news right now! She’s not even in the hospital! She ran away because her scheme didn’t work! And you can’t even apologize for disrespecting the whole LN family?! The only true family that you’ve ever known? Apologize!” he rattled me a little bit and that’s when the cold metal of the knife met with my skin but didn’t cut. I wouldn’t have cared if he sliced my face anyway. Entertaining was no longer my career. I no longer had to look ‘perfect’ as part of my job description. He could cut away for all I cared.
“Should I cut up this pretty face?” he continued, as if reading my mind. “What will you do without it Jae? What will you do without me and DBSK? She’s not even here for you anymore. You’ll be all alone. All you have to do is apologize…”
When I simply returned Soon’s stare, his features tautened and his yelling voice reverberated off of the walls. “APOLOGIZE DAMN YOU! APOLOGIZE TO DBSK AND YOUR FANS! WHY WONT YOU?! IS IT BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID THING THAT YOU THINK IS LOVE?! Love is a nonexistent emotion for fools! I tried to make you men strong and level headed. Life is about power Jaejoong! But you ruined it…all for her.”
I stared at him and said nothing. There was nothing to say.
Pulling back from me, Soon stared at me in disgust. “Both of you are just pathetic, lost souls. You will both regret sacrificing your lives for something that is not real.”
I didn’t understand what he meant, but had no time to. Then I finally got a little bit scared of Soon when his entire demeanor changed at the drop of a hat. He ordered one of his men to run a clip.
That consisted of the laptop being turned on. I watched in confusion as the guy who acted as my driver who had chauffeured me for the longest when I was under suspension of my license started up the internet. The amount of betrayal I felt wasn’t surprising either.
I wasn’t too sure what website it was being shown. Before long the driver told Soon that it was ready.
The video was low quality, and one could easily tell that it was taken by a phone camera. That didn’t mean that I couldn’t tell that Mariam was the girl who was suddenly thrown up against a door that appeared to be Mama’s.
Startled, Mariam leaned against the door for support, looking at the gang of obviously angered girls in confusion.
“So you’re Mariam Louis huh? The DBSK swagger jacker,” one of the girls, who seemed to be the ‘leader’ of the pack of four, said.
Mariam was obviously terrified, but only I could tell. Immediately she put up that tough ambiance, getting off of the wall and staring at the girls darkly.
“Look, I don’t want any trouble. Please let me go about my business,” she said calmly but firmly.
When she turned around to proceed to her house, her hair was suddenly yanked so hard her head snapped back in an odd angle that made an odd feeling go through me.
“Is this even your real hair? Are you even really Asian? Why do you look weird? Unless you really are Asian but are trying to look white. I don’t believe Jaejoong would disown his Korean fans like that. He did say Koreans were his type and that’s what you’re not.”
“Stop it!” Mariam flailed her arms in an attempt to fight back, but she was outnumbered. Quickly, the other girls jumped on her, making the situation advantageous for the main bully.
When a hand went down to slap Mariam I shut my eyes and lowered my head. Not only had they gone as far as to abuse her, they’d really put it all on tape and put it on the internet.
That meant that that video would always and forever be on the net.
“Look Jaejoong. Look.”
From what I was hearing, from what ‘my’ fans were saying, I refused to look. Hearing it was bad enough.
Suddenly, cold fingers closed on either side of my face. My head was then lifted so sharply that my already hurting neck hurt even worse.
I should have kept my eyes closed, but for some reason the moment I made eye contact with my wide television screen, I couldn’t tear myself away from what I was seeing.
“Look into the camera and say you’re sorry!” a girl who had to be either in her late teens or early twenties was threatening Mariam, holding a knife to her face.
Mariam’s eyes flickered from the girl to the camera as she struggled against another girl holding her down.
“Apologize! Say you’re sorry to Cassiopeia. Apologize to the entire LN team. Say sorry to DBSK’s families for ruining their lives! Do you know what you’ve done? You’ve ruined a lot of people! You’ve ruined Jaejoong and his family. Did you ever stop to think that he has family and friends that will be affected by you? What about the other artists at LN Entertainment? Now their name has been tarnished because of you. Everyone will look at LN artists as liars. And what future is there for DBSK now?! Do you know how many fans they’ve lost because of this?”
Mariam’s head was down, but was roughly jerked upward suddenly when the girl trapped her jaw. Her fingers indented Mariam’s cheeks as her head was tilted back and the knife was brought closer to her face. The knife glinted like it was symbolically promising nothing but destruction. Mariam’s dark eyes shimmered with unshed tears and undisputable fear.
“As a fan I feel disrespected.” The girl squatted to be at eye level with Mariam, speaking in a malicious whisper. “Do you know how many girls on this planet want you dead right now?”
Mariam’s swallowed hard as the teeth of the knife neared her. Rage tore through me and I struggled against the seat when the pointy tip of the knife pressed against the smooth skin of her cheek. My struggles only enunciated my pain, but my pain was the least bit of worries at that moment.
What about Mariam’s pain? How had that experience been? Especially with her being sick?!
Even though the anonymous girl didn’t actually pierce Mariam’s skin and lifted the knife
“Jaejoong belongs to Cassiopeia, not you! you know why? Because he said so! He said he would always love Cassiopeia! And he said DBSK would never break up…do you know what you have done to our boys?!?! Apologize! Apologize right now for what you have done! Apologize for stealing him from everyone right now! You don’t deserve Jaejoong! You’re ugly and crazy and nobody likes you! that’s why you were thrown in prison! You think we didn’t know about that? We know that you’re a two-timing gold digger and Jaejoong deserves someone better! Someone who won’t hurt him! APOLOGIZE!”
My eyes finally fell away from the camera and my head dropped. I felt ashamed. And responsible. For loving them. Too much.
I didn’t want to give myself too much credit, but I could honestly admit that I had helped create some monsters because of my hunger.
I was to blame for all this.
“Turn it off,” I murmured weakly, trying to drown out the angry fan’s words.
“Do you see Jaejoong?” Soon continued quietly. “Do you see what has happened to your fans?”
“Those aren’t my fans,” I was rocking back and forth now, trying to tame my infuriation.
“No? so I guess you are now the candidate for deciding what a fan is and what a fan isn’t?”
“My fans don’t hurt others—“
“Bullsh*t. Your fans are hurt because you betrayed them Jaejoong. You betrayed their trust.”
I shut my eyes tightly, unable to believe that this is where things had ended up. My rage grew hotter when I heard thumbing sounds from the video along with Mariam’s screams.
“Turn it off,” I grated.
“They loved you, gave you their all. Got you your beautiful house. Gave you your happiest years, all for what? A woman who has done nothing but ruined the lives of each and every person around you!”
‘Stop! Please!”
A sharp slap followed.
“Why are you doing this?! What is wrong with you?! Stop! Stop! I never meant to hurt anyone!’ Mariam screamed and coughed in between intervals of being battered.
‘Then apologize! Apologize for taking him away from us!’
She never responded and when the sound of a slap she screamed before resorting to a chain of sobs.
“I said turn it off!!” I bellowed and shot to my feet, uncaring of my hurting leg, only to be shot back down when a hand closed over my throat and thrust me back to my set.
The hand never left my throat, holding tightly. Soon lowered his head a few inches above mine, his expression dark and mean. Now it made sense why he had put the knife to my face earlier.
He’d probably seen the video and thought he could test me in the same way. I guess it sucked to be him because unlike before, I would never give in.
“Both of you are so idiotic,” he seethed. “Your life is over now, you know that? They’re coming after me now. And I’m the last thing that you’ve got! How could you turn your back on me?
We faced off for several moments. During that time I caught sad flashes in Soon’s eyes.
“As a parent, I’ve tried to give you the best life possible…” he murmured while lessening the pressure of my neck and stepped back.
My head snapped up, and I thought I might have heard the wrong thing because my right ear felt like there was some water in it as it throbbed and pained.
“What the hell do you mean? You’re not a parent to me. I don’t give a damn about you taking care of me when I was homeless, I have my own real parents and I know they wouldn't pull the foul sh*t you've pulled! You’re nothing to me. You hear that? Nothing!” I swore fervently.
Soon searched my eyes before shaking his head. “You have no idea son…”
“Stop calling me that!” I told him agitatedly, wanting nothing more than to hit him.
Soon suddenly let me go, closed the window of showing the grotesque beating of Mariam, and walked to his desk. Sitting in his throne chair, he leaned so far back that the tall shadows in the room concealed him into nothing but a silhouette.
“Let him go.”
Soon ordered suddenly and I was a bit surprised. I could tell that everyone in the room was.
“What? Why boss?”DaeGun asked. “We’ve got him right where you want him. This sucker actually put his hands on our boss and you want us to let him go—“
“Just do it!” Soon barked, silencing DaeGun in a jiffy. Then looking out of the window, he added, “And take him to the hospital.”
The shock that filled the room was so loud the windows in the room nearly blew up from the high frequency. Take me to the hospital? What the hell was going on in this man’s head?
With that said, he walked up to me, placed a hard hand on my shoulder, and lowered his lips to my right ear and spoke.
I never did get a chance to hear what he said.