| Fan Fiction |
by Pseudonym
Mariam
2 Months Later…
There was no question about it. I moved in the moment I returned. It took a while to adjust, especially with all the sudden changes that steadily occurred. Ever since Jaejoong’s professional career had settled down, I got to know his immediate family a bit better. From his little sister to his adoptive big sisters, all the way to both of his mothers. They had all been more than supportive. It took a while to win over his parents ,but they grew to love Jin and Hye so much that they could no longer ostracize me. The only person I had yet to meet was Jaejoong’s father. I thought it weird that he had suddenly been wiped off the face of the earth. Nobody knew where he was. You’d think he’d want to get to know his son’s children. I could tell Jaejoong was bothered by this. He was bothered by a lot, but he didn’t talk about it. He spent too much time catering to me instead.
Mama moved in with us for a little bit so that we wouldn’t have to make trips all the way to her neck of the woods. We were in the process of looking for another house because some fans still camped out even with our heavy security, which cost a fortune. I didn’t want all of our money as parents to go towards security when it could go to the kids’ education and so forth.
After I had settled, my father decided to stay with us for a bit just to make sure that even post-chemo that I was doing okay and continuously taking my meds. My father’s relationship with Jaejoong ever since we returned was a bit strained at first because of what ‘Jaejoong’s’ fans did to me. But after a long talk, with me having to translate, they’d come to a solid understanding and were kind of like best buddies now. Having my father and my mother in the same space was very weird, but they worked at it regardless.
Seung was still very much in my life. I couldn’t shun him and his father especially after all the help they gave me. He was the same one I went to for checkups in regards to my pregnancy, which was smooth sailing, especially after the rigorous treatments I’d endured. All we could do now was wait and see how the baby turned out amiss the chemo. I hoped he or she would be alright.
Everything was working out slowly.
Slowly, but surely.
~0~0~0~
The moment I stirred awake, the strong arms already coiled around me tightened so rigidly I nearly couldn’t breathe. I worried of the baby’s well being. Flashing my eyes open, I realized Jaejoong had done it again.
It had become some sort of unshakeable habit.
Everytime we slept now, Jaejoong had to hold me. Tightly. It didn’t matter if it was a bit uncomfortable for me. He had to hold me and wouldn’t let go even when we woke up.
And since over the months he’d been releasing stress by rigorously working out, one can imagine how strong he’d become.
Since I usually woke up before him, it would be the worst. A single movement from me would make Jaejoong react like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He would either hold me close to him as if he was afraid I was slipping away or wake up in a panic, looking at me frantically to make sure that I was still there.
His actions scared me, because they were well understood. It’s not like I hadn’t been the same way with him once upon a time.
“Joongie…” I mewled and he stared at me confusedly. When he looked at his arms around me and realized that he nearly had me and the baby in a choke hold his cheeks grew red as he let go of me. before looking at his strong arms that banded me.
“Oh. My bad…”
We shared an awkward stare for a few seconds before I slid out of bed to go find out which kid was crying. Having to roll out of bed because of the eight month old in my tummy was a taxing motion.
As expected, I found out that it was Jin crying because he was hungry. After feeding him something light and escorting him to the bathroom, I returned to find Jaejoong staring thoughtfully at the ceiling with his hands tucked beneath his head.
When I rejoined him on the bed, I snuggled up against his shoulder and looked at the ceiling too.
“What are you doing?” I felt him look at me.
“Doing what you’re doing. Trying to see what you’re seeing.”
He refocused on the ceiling. “Just thinking about our future.”
We fell silent for a long while. Then Jaejoong started gliding his hand along the globe of my stomach. His fingers sent electric jolts through me. A small smile curled the ends of his lips. There was so much promise and hope in his eyes. I smiled.
“Guess what Joongie?” I whispered.
“Hmm?” he never took his eyes off of my stomach.
I nuzzled him before speaking into his good ear. “You’re going to be a daddy.”
Jaejoong was both excited and nervous about this. He’d expressed many times how he wanted to be there each and every step of the way, not wanting to miss a wink of his child’s birth. Sometimes he went overboard too. The other day when he felt the baby kick my stomach he got everything ready, nearly forcing me out of the house and into the car. I nearly had to slap him to let him know that it wasn’t time yet. There were days he’d look at me with an annoying frown the same way Jin would when I wouldn’t let him eat candy. Jaejoong would look that way and ask me why I couldn’t ‘release’ his child yet. He also did that whenever he wanted to make love but I couldn’t.
There was a time it was my fault though. I got him so aroused and pulled out of the heated situation at last minute only for Jaejoong to get fed up and vow that he was going to go ahead and become a priest.
At my words, the once faint smile enlarged into a beaming, prideful grin.
“I hope it’s a girl.”
“Why?”
“I want to see another female version of my looks other than Hye.”
“What if she looks like me?” I challenged and Jaejoong did a double take at me before returning his gaze to my stomach, where his fingers still lazily doodled.
“Sorry. My features are stronger…”
When I laughed and hit him playfully on his sternum, Jaejoong moved his stubbly jaw along my forehead before speaking into my still-short hair.
“I hope you don’t take me seriously when I talk like that. About my looks and all. I just do it to annoy you.”
“Why do you like annoying me?” I asked as I snuggled closer to him.
“Personal enjoyment.”
Jaejoong let out a throaty laugh when I sank my teeth gently into the smooth skin of his neck.
“Am I wrong for not really trusting you?” Jaejoong suddenly ask and I was caught off guard.
“Huh?”
“I don’t know. I get the feeling that you’re always about to leave for some reason. Is this how you felt back in the day?” he continued to look up at the ceiling.
“Yes…but I promise you, I’m not going anywhere now. So stop panicking all the time okay?”
When Jaejoong continued looking up, I trapped his jaw with my fingers and turned him towards me so that he could look me in the eye. Scooting closer, I pressed my lips softly against his. Spearing his strong fingers through my hair, he cupped the back of my head and pulled me closer. We kissed languidly and slowly, taking our time.
Because time was all we had right now.
Time and one another.
~0~0~0~
We were happy.
We were so happy.
There’s no other way to describe it. Those last month of my pregnancy was the happiest of my life. Each day was a blessing. I never wanted the day to end because each day was filled with promise. Yet, at the same time, I would look forward to the next day and whatever was in store.
My relationship with Jaejoong was stronger than ever before, but that didn’t mean we didn’t have isues. I tried to find traces of sadness in his eyes in regards to his career and fans, but I saw none. Either in our time spent away he’d polished his skills in hiding his feelings.
Or maybe I had become too blind.
Whenever I was with this man, I was happy.
The children were happy.
We were happy—to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. The media was still questionable. Somehow they found out I was back with him. LN Entertainment was going through a crisis without Soon running it. I learned that Dae permanently left, going to work in Singapore for a business. A notable amount of staff had left, which we learned from Detective Kim all worked in Soon’s underground gang. Soon was still out of the country, awaiting trial for the case that was finally taken to court. Just because he was a liar, the entire LN camp looked to be liars. Every artist that tried to come out from LN was scrutinized terribly because of Jaejoong. Everyone from the label was called a liar. And even then, there were innumerous numbers of fans supporting the guys no matter what. I don’t know how they did it, but they still stood strong.
Still, their career hung lifelessly. No one knew what was to become of them. Their popularity was in stagnation almost. It wasn’t greatening neither was it lessening. There was a state of confusion that surrounded us, but Jaejoong had stressed on living a normal life.
He went a bit too far with it sometimes. He did music on his own. And he talked about it very seldom. I knew the one-ear deafness still bothered him. He would snap when I tried to talk about it.
Don’t get me wrong. Jaejoong was still the same Jaejoong. But something inside of him was no longer the same.
I knew what it was.
He knew what it was.
He missed his fans. He missed making music.
But he would never openly admit it to me.
I didn’t want to push him into returning to that life if he didn’t want. In fact, I knew I was being hypocritical, when I was the one who had strongly demeaned this part of his life many months back. But in the end, a person can only be free if they’re honest with themselves. I just wanted him to be honest with himself.
Honesty in Jaejoong’s mind meant taking me to childbirth classes and preparing a nursery for the new baby with the help of Jin and Hye.
“Jaejoong, have you ever thought that even though happiness is a sure thing, then it’s temporary?” I remembered asking Jaejoong one day when we were making cookies for the children before they woke up.
Raising his head from the stove, Jaejoong looked at me awkwardly.
“How can a sure thing be temporary? Sure things are permanent.”
“Happiness isn’t permanent is it?” I asked, when those many stubborn thoughts would come to me. The ones that made me wonder how long our happiness would last.
Shaking his head, Jaejoong looked back at the stove.
“Stop thinking too much okay?” he sort of snapped and when he realized that his tone softened. “When you’re happy, just be happy. Don’t worry about not being happy. That’s all we ever do. We waste our time focusing on the negative things. We don’t have time for that anymore.”
Something in Jaejoong’s answer showed me that something inside of him, no matter how diminutive, had irreversibly changed.
I’m sorry Jaejoong.
~0~0~0~
1 Month Later
“Why do you have to be such a girl sometimes!” Jaejoong accused as we stood in the living room.
“Ask me damn it!”
When Jaejoong gave me an ‘are you serious’ look, I urged him in annoyance. “Come on! Ask!”
“Okay okay do you want to go on a date.” He said with zero interest, a thoroughly bored look shadowing his face.
All I did was stare at him blankly. The kids were taking their afternoon nap. The topic of dating had sprung up again to Jaejoong’s dismay.
The past month had been filled with many memories. We were actually a family now. I was actually living a life that I had thought impossible at some point in my life. We no longer apologized for loving one another or being with each other. If anyone else had a problem with it, that was their problem.
We had our own problems. Like Jaejoong’s thoughtlessness in the art of asking someone on a date.
“Jaejoong!”
“Ugh! Why do you like saying my name so much?”
“That’s not the way to ask!”
“Ugh fine!” suddenly Jaejoong turned around and started fishing through the clustered dining table. When he found a piece of paper, he stuck a pencil behind his earlobe, and went to the couch. Once seated, he began alternating between chewing at one end of the pencil and jotting down notes with a thoughtful look on his face. He then perused whatever he’d written, acting as though I wasn’t even in the room. I lost my wits end.
“What are you doing?” I asked, only for Jaejoong to continuously write on his paper as he spoke.
“Shut up for a few moments please…”
Surprisingly even in my impatience I waited. When I tried to see what he was scribbling, he’d rotate the other way and glower at me. Throwing my hands up aggravatingly I marched to the other end of the room with my hands folded. When waiting became unbearable I spun around, my fisted hands at my side and a cross look on my face.
“Jaejoong what are you writing damn it!”
“I’m making a strategy.”
“Strategy? For what?”
Jaejoong swung his exhausted gaze to me. “For how to ask you on a date…”his face twisted in a peeved motion. “Damn. Haven’t you even been paying attention?”
Gritting my teeth in annoyance, I held my head like it was about to explode.
“JOONGIE!!!” I shrieked. I was annoyed further when none other than puppy Joongie came running into the room with a hanging tongue and wagging tail. I think my eye started twitching at that moment. Beaming like a kid in Christmas upon Joongie’s arrival, Jaejoong shook him lightly but endearingly.
“Ah ha!” Jaejoong’s face lit up more than before as he set Joongie beside him. “Joomi! Jooriam, Joor, Joom…”
“What are you doing?”
“Making nicknames…Jooria—“
“Why does your name have to come first?” I found myself asking out of the blue.
“Good looking people are always the predecessors of less fortunate ones. Joongri…”
When I gaped at Jaejoong he hastily continued. “MariJae…yah! That was good huh?…Jaeri…MiJae. Kim Mariam, Mrs. Kim…ha…don’t those sound good? I’m such a genius. Seriously, why was I cursed with all these blessings…”
“That’s so wack. And by the way since we’re on the subject, the whole Jaeriam thing was gay too…”
Jaejoong’s face pulled into a hurt frown. “What?”
My shoulders shrank and I smiled guiltily at Jaejoong. “Since we were too emotional, I couldn’t say it at that time…sorry…”
Jaejoong scrunched his face up and shot up to his feet. “Take that back Mimi. Do you know how long it took me to come up with that? Do you know that combining couple names is actually a science?! It’s not as easy as you think big head.”
Ignoring him and trying not to laugh, I snatched the paper from him and read the first few lines of what he had written. My eyes nearly popped out. I felt Jaejoong’s eyes—and his sneaky smirk—on me as I read it outloud.
“First, look deeply into her eyes. Then lick your lips like you know she wants it. Saunter over to her—make sure your chest is unbuttoned cause women like that unnecessary stuff—grab her by the waist and with a bad boy demeanor (bad boys are the in thing nowadays) ask her if she wants to ride into the sunset with you. Once you’ve sacked her in your possession, slowly unbutton her shirt—“
As I gasped at the following words Jaejoong snatched the paper from me.
“Why—what the—why would you write that?! You’re good at writing by the way,” I found myself adding, astonished by his vivid language.
“Yeah I know I’m good at writing. I used to be one of the best students in reading and writing at school.”
At Jaejoong’s words, I shook my head when I knew I was getting off tangent, glaring at him all over again. “What made you write such foolishness!”
I could tell that he was trying all he could not to laugh.
Jaejoong gave me an exasperated look before getting defensive. “I don’t know! I knew you were going to read it, I’m good huh? But anyway, you’re the one making asking you on a date such a big deal!”
“Because it’s a big deal Jaejoong! You’ve never asked me!”
“But I did take you on a date though damn it!”
“Correction, you tricked me into a date. You haven’t taken me to one.”
“Oh oh so now I have to do everything in this relationship?!?!”
“Oh my god! Ask me on a date already you idiot!”
“No!” he folded his arms and jutted his chin out with arrogant defiance. I could just see Jin in him right now. “Why do I have to ask? See, these are issues that are steadily ignored by society today. Why does it have to be the man asking? Things are changing, especially for our youth, and it is us who should be carrying the torch and leading the way for the future. I know men are strong and great and powerful beings but we get tired too okay! As soon as women get the chance to have power, what does she do? She asks the man to take it right out of her hands. You should be grateful that I’m giving you this opportunity—”
“Jaejoong!!!” I pulled the beanie that Jaejoong had been wearing but fixed over my head when we were talking earlier. I nearly pulled it down over my eyes while sustaining the need to scream out in vexation. And for some reason I had tears in my eyes—happy tears. Noticing how happy I was, Jaejoong finally gave in to a smile as he slowly walked up to me and cupped my face in his hands.
“What is so great about my name?! Wait wait don’t answer that. I know, I know. Sorry, say my name again it makes me uh, excited—“ he gently trapped my bottom lip in his teeth before running his tongue slowly on his bottom lip as he pulled back. “Ifyouknowwhatimean.”
“Jae!” I squealed, blushing profusely at the implication.
“Mimi!” he mimicked my soprano voice and I whacked him on his arm and started walking off to begin dinner only to be stopped when he pulled me by the arm.
“Hey, hey, hey, hey, where do you think you’re going?”
“What do you mean?”
He gave me that innocuous look of his. “We’re here trying to change stereotypes, trying to change the world, to make it a better place, and then you want to leave?”
“Huh?!” Jaejoong, he was so freaking weird sometimes!
“Change the unfair sexism Mariam!” He held up a strong fist in an empowering motion and when he dramatically and unnecessarily stroked my cheek I slapped his hand off. “Prove that women can also beat the stereotype of asking men to ask them out!”
I laughed and waved him off while walking away. “Jaejoong…your head isn’t right…I don’t know what’s wrong with you for real…”
He stamped his hands on my shoulders, stopping me and turning me around. “So?! Are you ready to change the world?”
I stared at Jaejoong with an open-mouthed smile, astounded by him. How can someone make you so happy that you wanted to cry? Maybe it was my moodswings. Everyone knows how pregnant women are.
“Uh…”
“Come on, hurry. Many people are relying on you. So many people believe in you. They know that you can do it, all you have to do is believe it too right?”
By then I was getting suffocated with my tears but didn’t let them fall. Now I knew what he was doing, what he was referring to. Since I was trying to be more open with Jaejoong, I revealed to him that I felt so much sense of loss after my illness. I didn’t know what to do or where to start from. I was afraid of failing again. He gave me the strength and encouragement that I was lacking.
“Hmm?” he pressed and I finally nodded while sniffing.
“Okay, so go ahead. Give it your all,” he took my hands into his and squeezed gently. “The world is in your hands.”
When I looked at him with teary eyes he smiled softly, encouragingly at me.
“Come on. Hurry.”
“Okay,” letting go of each other’s hands, I rubbed mine against my sides before linking them damply in front of me.
“Haha, sorry I have to say, you’re such a crybaby—“
“KIM JAEJOONG!”
Jaejoong immediately obeyed.
It took me a while to start. I tucked some hair behind my ear before commencing.
“So um, hi.”
Jaejoong grinned arrogantly and I rolled my eyes. “Hi.”
“My name is um…Mariam.”
“Huh? Louder! I can’t hear you!”
“Jae you’re not supposed to scare someone who is asking you on a date!”
“Well what will be the point if I can’t hear?!”
“Okay okay. My name is Mariam!”
“Oh…cool…” he nodded and nothing else. I wanted to send him through the wringer for being so annoying.
“Tell me your name you idiot!”
“You’re supposed to ask me for my name!” he put emphasis on ‘you’re’. “Great people are asked, they don’t just tell.”
“Oh my god!” I was pulling on my beanie again.
“Hurry! I’m losing interest…”
“What is your name?”
“So rude—“
“JAEJOONG!”
“Damn! How did you know my name?”
“Ahhhh!!!” my beanie stretched far over my face as I burned in the flames of irritation.
“Okay okay,” Jaejoong lifted my beanie and when I showed him I was fed up he continued seriously. “Okay, my name is Jaejoong. What do you do for a living?”
“Well. I’m currently unemployed.”
“Oh, that sucks.”
“Aren’t you too?”
“No. I look good.”
“What? I asked what you do for a living!”
“I said…I look good…my occupation…”
“Oh my god!! Who says that?! That was so pathetic.”
“Yeah. Anyway so um you said there was something you wanted to ask me?”
“No…I didn’t say that…yet.”
“Ah. Greatness in the works. Did I say I mention that apart from my great looks and personality is also my ability to read minds?”
“Jaejoong!”
“Oh yeah, I also have a name that’s so addictive, that that’s the only word in certain people’s vocabulary…”
“Ugh! Will you go out with me or not? You know what? Nevermind. You’re going out with me. This Friday. Seven o’clock sharp! Bring me white roses—“
“Whoa whoa whoa buddy slow your roll. You’re asking me out. You’re supposed to bring me flowers.”
“Flowers?! I knew you were gay…”
“No! I meant, the male equivalent to flowers!”
I eyed him with suspicion. “What’s that?”
“Make sure you’re showing some cleavage when you come to pick me up. I want you to wear a real sleazy outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination. Show some leg too. And wear those red heels I like those the most—no no the boots! You still got the boots? First we’re going for a boxing match and then later we’ll go back to your place and watch sports over some beers. How does that sound?”
“Regardless of your mental shortcomings, I still love you…I always will…”
“Ah, another reason why we’re meant to be. We have so much in common. I love me too…”
A string of curse words left my mouth before Jaejoong wrapped me in his arms while laughing and apologizing for annoying me. Ruffling my hair, he kissed my hairline. I hugged him back. I loved how he felt warm and safe.
“You suck at the dating game,” I said out of the blue.
“Yah! At least my looks make up for it hehe…”
When I pinched his side he flinched but we remained in each other’s arms until Jaejoong suddenly started to pull away and heading for the door.
“Hey, where are you going?” I asked with a slight frown.
“Oh, to see Junsu.”
“Huh? Why so suddenly?”
“To tell him I won the bet.”
“The bet?”
“Oh. Well, when we were in our training days, he used to joke that no woman would want me cause I was too pretty. Cause of that we made a bet that if I got a ridiculously pretty woman to ask me out on a date before I asked her, then he would pay my fifty won and give me three-sixty-five piggy back rides. One ride for each day of the year. So I’m going to let him know that I finally won the bet. You know me and my piggy back rides!”
After winking and smirking devilishly at me, Jaejoong tugged the front of my beanie until it covered my eyes, fleeing from me when I tried to smack him and leaving me there with Joongie.
~0~0~0~
One Day Later…
Since I was just coming from leaving the kids with Mama, Jaejoong and I decided to meet at a nearby park instead of going all the way back to his house. The moment I arrived I saw him standing there at the entrance of the huge park, ignoring the media that lined beneath the front steps. By then Jaejoong and I stopped trying to make sense of how they found our whereabouts. We made it a point to live our lives normally no matter what. Some of them did and said very nasty things. Some still run tabloids that I was having an extramarital affair with Seung because I still saw him and Dr. Choi. But Jaejoong and I were not deterred from living our lives. We just had to learn to ignore them.
When Jaejoong saw me, the reporters ignored him and diverted their attention to me.
“Excuse me,” I read Jaejoong’s lips as he weaved through the reporters. I felt uncomfortable looking at him going through the traffic and sighed to myself. Even now they still wouldn’t let him live his life.
I was just about to turn the other way out of fear of seeing him get hurt when a question yelled by one reporter, loud enough for me to hear from my enclosed car, caught my undivided attention.
“Excuse me sir. Are you and Mariam Louis officially dating? Is she your girlfriend?” he suddenly thrust the microphone at Jaejoong.
I waited for the negation. And I found that I didn’t mind if everyone knew or not. As long as I knew the truth, that was all that mattered.
“Yeah,” Jaejoong surprised me with his answer. Pandemonium swelled among the reporters and I noticed that some diehard fans were on the outskirts of everyone else. They gasped the sharpest, emitting the most hurt expressions too. Some of them cried harder than before.
“How long have you two been together?” another reporter prompted next atop many other questions.
By then Jaejoong reached the passenger’s seat and as he opened the door he smirked and scoffed at them all before adding sarcastically, “Forever. That sound good enough for you?”
When he slid into the car I gave him a long look and he returned my stare. He suddenly shook his head and started to reopen his door. “Uh…forget this.”
I grabbed Jaejoong’s arm and looked at him confusedly.
“Why?!”
He ran his eyes up and down my seated frame. “Look at you!”
“What?” I asked, feeling self cautious deep down inside as I examined my clothing too.
“Sleazy Mariam, remember?! Meaning like, five percent of clothing. There’s nothing sleazy about you right now. There’s like ninety-five percent of clothing on you!”
“Shut up and come here,” I laughed while putting the car into gear. “We’re going for our date.”
“What kind of date is this where the datee is being harassed,” Jaejoong, sliding further down his seat as we moved painfully slow along the sea of reporters and fans.
“Datee? What the—Don’t even answer. So, we’re going to a boxing ring just like you wanted.”
“Rearry?!” Jaejoong attempted to say in English and I laughed. Now his own son was rubbing off on him.
In the end, despite Jaejoong’s complaints, we went to a restaurant of my choice. And the media went with us too. The reason why the media was acting insane about Jaejoong being back in Seoul—we had already found another house where we started staying at mostly—was because him and the rest of the guys had created a benefits concert for cancer patients. They did it all on their own, while still searching for a new manager. That in itself was a commendable feat and DBSK were no longer music mogul’s puppets. They were proving to be music moguls themselves. As much as I hated to admit it, Soon had taught them well in regards to business. They were business savvy and knew all the right moves to make even on their own save this one ‘mishap’ from Jaejoong. It’s no wonder they were completely hated.
Regardless of their great professional efforts, making this benefits concert resulted in mixed reviews. There were some that thought he did it just because of me. A nurse in the old hospital that I was at ended up getting jail time for revealing such information to the public so that she could get a large amount of money, so now all his fans knew that I was a cancer patient. Some of them thought I was lying just because I wanted sympathy, or so that I could make them ‘forget about my criminal past’. It was no surprise that I was still hated dearly by most, with only a handful coming to my defense.
But I no longer cared. I couldn’t change their minds. All I cared about were my family.
In the end, the turn of events brought DBSK to soaring popularity even in their absence. Whether they were more popular now than before, I didn’t know because I tried not to pay too much attention to that side of his life. What I did do though is I was there for him whenever he was in the studio built in our new home, writing and composing music. That was the part of his musical career that I supported the most. He even added songwriter to his profile, having penned a song for a Japanese artist that broke records on the charts.
I was so proud of him.
When we got out of our cars and headed for the entrance of the restaurant, we were bombarded by legions of fans and reporters. There were so many that Jaejoong and I could barely move. I started to think all of this was a bad idea because Jaejoong and I were getting separated more and more. His fans were calling him. His fans and the reporters. He kept his head down as he always did.
I knew he couldn’t hear, especially with only one ear in service. But I felt something suspicious. Something suspiciously sharp on the side of my stomach. I know my feelings weren’t playing tricks on me. The sharpness came again against the side of my stomach with more vigor than before.
“JAEJOONG!” I screamed out to him. Knowing he wouldn’t hear me with his bad ear and everyone shouting at him to give them something, I looked the other way to see what might’ve caused that sharp pain against my side. Then I froze when the pair of dark eyes sitting under a dark hood, a few feet away from me.
When I was jostled again by the intense crowd, my eyes shut from the commotion and pain I felt when someone bumped into my back. When I reopened my eyes, the person was no longer there, probably lost in the crowd.
“MARIAM!”
I turned back around, surprised to find Jaejoong weaving through the crowd trying to get to me. Just as the distance seemed to greaten between us, Jaejoong grabbed onto my hand. The craziness of the people around us nearly made me slip away momentarily and just as I gave Jaejoong panicky eyes, he stretched out as far as possible until our hands clasped fully and strongly together.
He pulled me to him until no one was separating us. Then he lowered his head until his lips were beside my ear.
“You hold on tight okay?” he told me and when he pulled back to look down at me I saw how serious he was about that. I gave him a prompt nod, still feeling shaky and unsure about what had just occurred. Jaejoong’s worried eyes lingered over me but I gave him a reassuring smile and squeeze of his hand.
For the first time since we’d been together, Jaejoong and I were walking hand amongst his watching fans and hungry public both of them snapping away and videotaping us with their cameras and phones.
All of them trying to get a piece of us just living our lives.
~0~0~0~
After the waitress told him he was gorgeous and left to go get our food, he started blabbing on and on about some lady a few weeks ago who had found him quite the looker.
“She was this really old lady too,” he explained while eating and I looked at him in sheer boredom.
“You know if I wasn’t the one taking you on a date I would’ve walked off already.”
“Why?” he looked up at me innocently. I had to suppress a smile. He looked so cute, his big dark eyes twinkling against the candlelight. One cheek of his was protruded with food stuffed in there. The fork was still in his hand. This was such a classic moment I leaned for my purse and pulled out my phone. Then I took a picture of him in that position. After finally snapping out of it, Jaejoong swallowed and stopped me before I put the camera back into my purse.
“What?” I asked suspiciously, then rolled my eyes when he started fixing his collar and fingering his hair.
“How do I look?” Before I could answer, Jaejoong sat back, paused, and looked to his side with his ‘photogenic’ side facing me.
“K, take another one,” Jaejoong said while still remaining in pose.
“Oh my gosh, are you serious?!” I asked him in wonder.
“Take it Mariam! My head is getting tired being in this position.”
“Oh my word—“
“Taaaake iitttttt.”
“Ugh!” I did as he pleased and took that one picture, which resulted into taking ten pictures of him during our dinner time.
“You need help,” I told Jaejoong when he was finally satisfied.
Smirking, Jaejoong winked and picked up his fork again. “I bet it got those hormones raging huh?”
“Shut up.”
“Oh wait, I’m not done, so the lady…”
I stifled an inward sigh as he went on. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I let him go on about his looks and the lady who was so riveted by them.
And then it happened. That little pop that had occurred the day that I was to have Jin and Hye. A steady gushing in my abdomen followed.
My heart stopped.
It was time.
“Uh Jaejoong—“
“And then the lady just kept going on about my features. It was so crazy. I was getting annoyed cause its like I already know all this stuff—“
“Jaejoong my water—“
“Here,” he poured me a glass of water from the pitcher that the waitress left on the table and continued talking. “So I just asked her to be a bit considerate because other people were—“
“My water broke.”
“Were looking at us and it was just so embarrassing—“
“My…water…broke Kim Jaejoong.”
He gave me an annoyed look for interrupting him, picked up my glass before handing it back to me. “What’s wrong with you? Nothing is broken—“
“YOU MORON! I’M GOING INTO LABOR!”
At first Jaejoong just stared at me blankly, then he let out a scream that shamed all falsettos in the world. I buried my face in my hands in embarrassment when other couples looked at us.
“What’s wrong with you?!” I seethed at him when his screaming waves passed.
“W-w-w-w-what? What do you mean you’re in labor?”
“I’m about to have the baby! Hurry up!”
“Wait—“ Jaejoong stood up, sat down, stood up, then sat down again with his hand stressfully on his temple. “I mean, I’m not ready.”
“WHAT?!”
“You can’t have the baby now! See this is that inconsiderate streak of you that I don’t like Mariam! What the hell am I supposed to do?” He stood up and walked to a nearby patron, grabbing him by the collar and shaking him. “Oh my god I’m so nervous!” he suddenly let the man go so roughly that the man had to grab onto the table not to fall. Jaejoong returned to me, eyes panicky and face flushed. “Damn it Mariam I left all the blankets and stuff in the other car why did you have to release our child now! Can’t you see I’m not ready?”
“Jaejoong…” I murmured with thinning patience.
“Holy sh*t!” Jaejoong was panting now, grabbing on the back of the chair as his skin went stark white. “I’m hyperventilating. What do I do? Oh sh*t I’m so scared!”
How could he ask what he should do? He was the one who had rehearsed this moment for an entire month more than he’d ever rehearsed for any concert. And that’s saying a lot.
“Okay, just take a few breaths okay. In…out…” this was so stupid. How was it that all those childbirth classes we had gone to were being used on him now? Life and its damn twists.
Jaejoong tried a bit more before pacing and stopping and pacing and stopping. “I can’t! We’re having a baby and I’m here! Do you know what this means—“
I’m sorry. I had to do it. My hand flew across Jaejoong’s collar to draw him down. Then my hand reached for his cheek and I slapped him really hard.
“JAEMOTHERF*CKINGJOONG GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW!”
I remember thinking, even during that awkward and comical moment during that moment, that I loved that man so much.
I loved him so much…
I loved him.
And I always would.
My name is Mariam Kim, and I was living my biggest dream.
~0~0~0~
There is one more chapter after this! Don’t know when it will come. Tomorrow, or next week, or next month. It depends lol