| Fan Fiction |
by Pseudonym
Just some songs that might get you in the mood when listening to this are Take A Bow by Rihanna. Prisoner of Love by Utada Hikaru and Stay Gold by Utada Hikaru (she's like the best musician EVER)
Chapter 5
Jaejoong
When we got to the hospital, we went to the front desk immediately to find out what her condition was.
“They haven’t released her yet,” the lady seated behind the counter answered, “If you could just go to the waiting room—“
“Is she okay?” I asked. An array of questions rushed through my head. So far the only things I’d garnered up on our ride here were that she’d been talking about feeling cold and seemed very irritated. I was also informed that the apartment which she lived in her burned down.
I didn’t even know she no longer lived in the States.
Many unanswered questions run through my mind because of that bleak information.
“I don’t have that information. Please just wait in the waiting roo—oh my! Are you Hero Jaejoong? You look just like him.”
The woman’s face had gone from lifeless to shining with astonishment when she asked me who I was. How could she be so insensitive? Thoroughly annoyed by her ignorance, I started to walk off without giving her an answer.
Dae, who had informed me of her name on the ride to the hospital, helped me find the waiting room. Fortuitously, it wasn’t packed. I didn’t really want to be around a lot of people right now. Besides a frail old lady seated in one corner, there was this dark haired guy with a young, brown haired boy seated on his lap. He was trying to quell and quietly crying little girl, who upon our arrival, suddenly tore herself from him and ran to Dae.
“Hye.” Dae said as she bent over to scoop the young girl into her arms.
“Where’s umma?” The little girl who I assumed went by the name Hye asked, her unusually golden eyes widened in fright. Her features were rather unique. She was the type that would make you stop and stare even if she was submerged in a crowd of a million people. Despite her Korean features the color of her eyes and hair were very uncommon. I knew a girl as young as her couldn’t be wearing contacts or dying her hair copper.
“She’ll be back in a minute.” Dae told her uneasily, looking at me with an embarrassed expression that I found ambiguous. The younger girl then suddenly stared at me, her wide eyes sinless and uncorrupted by the world. There was a distinct sadness in them though, probably because…
Then it hit me.
“Are this her daughter?” I asked soon as the thought struck me.
Dae was a trifle reluctant to answer before bobbing her head in a nod, “These are her children…”
When she referred to more than one person I knew she meant the other boy. My next reaction was to look at the dark haired man who held him, only to feel myself fall further into that deep hole of despair.
It was like Mariam had just given me that infamous slap she’d given me years ago in that hotel room. I had literally seen stars back then as my head rocked and I saw the same stars now. Stars of incredulity. At first, I went into sheer denial, but I saw a resemblance in the dirty blonde hair and bronze skin. That was as far as the likenesses went though, but they were enough to drive the point home that they were in fact her children.
My heart plummeted to my feet in a disappointment that angered and confused me. Reflexively I glanced at the guy seated down once again to find him staring at me with blatant suspicion. The boy seated on his lap looked at me too and took me aback when his face broke into a guileless smile as he waved.
“Jin, remember what I told you? Don’t talk to strangers.” The guy told him as he gently lowered the boy’s energetic hand.
“Why Appa?” Jin asked the man and that’s when I felt my world turning upside down, “He seems like a nice person.”
So that was their father. That was the man whom she had broken our promise with.
“Yes, I’m sure he’s a good person but you just shouldn’t do that. It’s not good.”
The bitterness slithered up my throat like wild fire spreading through a gasoline infested forest.
Suddenly feeling dizzy, I urgently needed to sit down. All of this was too much to take in one morning.
Gnawing at my lip because of the nervous jitters that combusted in me, I looked searchingly with my bespectacled eyes and took a seat in an isolated part of the room. Because my eyes had started to irritate me as we came to the hospital I’d taken my contacts out and wore my glasses instead.
I sat forward with my elbows on my knees, trying to tamper down my rising temper. Not only was I baffled by the fact that she had had two kids in a span of four years. I was also agitated and worried about her condition.
‘She could die!’ Dae’s desperate words rang clear in my mind. I hoped that she was just exaggerating to get me to leave. I now knew that this wasn’t one of Soon’s mapped out, stealthy tests.
With my palms aligned, I brought my hands in front of my lips, my thumbs clipping my chin. My eyes fluttered closed as I prayed that she would be okay.
I couldn’t lose her just yet.
A gentle tag on my jeans from my right leg jolted me out of my prayers. When my eyes flew open I saw nothing. Then when I felt the tag again I glanced down to find the cheerful boy from earlier standing before me.
“My name is Jin.” He greeted, his wide eyes curious. I subcatiously looked around for the man that had told him not to talk to strangers but didn’t find him. The only people around were him, the old lady, Dae, and the little sad girl.
“Hello.” I said awkwardly to the young boy feeling something odd as I looked at him. I felt all sorts of weird, which was an oddity in itself because I never felt strange when meeting children. I liked children. I was told I was good with them. Maybe this time was different because the child belonged to the love of my life but hadn’t come from me.
The equation was all wrong. She was supposed to have my kids damn it…
Talk about having your heart being stepped all over on.
“Why are your eyes so big?”he asked me and despite my glum mood I couldn’t help but let out a faint laugh.
That was the first laugh I’d had all day. I could already tell upon a second of meeting this boy that he was an outspoken one. I could already tell by looking at the girl who looked exactly like him that she was introverted.
When I saw that the boy was deadly pretty serious, I sobered up, “Why are my eyes so big?”
“Your eyes are huge. Do people make fun of you too?”
“Huh?”
“The kids at school say my eyes are ugly because they’re too big and because they’re yellow.”
“Huh? Your eyes are not ugly. And they aren’t yellow…”
“They’re not?”
“Your eyes are hazel.”
“Hazel?” his cute face scrunched up innocently, “What’s hazel? Umma tells me my eyes are like her father’s. His name is Francis. My grandmother’s name is Lee Moon Hyung. Do you have grandparents?”
The little boy had me so flustered I was tongue-tied for several moments. I couldn’t believe a kid was making me feel like I’d been backed into a corner.
“Hmm?” he pressed.
“Uh, yeah…” I finally answered, looking at Dae askance to find her smiling endearingly at us.
“What are their names?” the kid asked.
“Okay Jin. That’s enough. Don’t ask him such questions.” Dae chastised softly.
“Sorry.” Jin apologized, lowering his head.
“No. it’s okay.” I said with a reassuring chortle.
“I miss my umma.” He confessed, surprisingly, making me stop short.
If I was paid for how many times I’d thought of her due to missing her, I’d be the richest man in the world right now.
“I miss her too…” I found myself murmuring, making the boy’s head shoot up.
“Do you know my umma?” he darted another question at me, leaving me flabbergasted once again. Boy did I know her. Every bit of her.
“Jin, come here. Leave the poor guy alone,” her eyes flicked up to mine, “I’m so sorry Jaejoong.”
“It’s fine.”
“You know her?” he continued and my mouth dropped to answer but my larynx just stopped functioning.
“Jin, come here and play with your sister.” Dae told him.
“But I’m talking to hyung.” Jin said plaintively, his cheeks puffing up like tennis balls had been stuffed in them. I found myself smiling gently. He was an adorable one. Ah, the innocent, carefree days when honesty was a way of life.
I missed that.
“Now do you want me to tell umma that you’ve been a bad boy?” Dae threatened.
Shaking his wild head of hair, he scuttled to Dae and began poking his sister’s leg. The girls’ face blossomed into a smile that brightened the dull ambiance that surrounded her. She had one of the most beautiful smiles that I’d ever seen—like her mother.
A tightening formed in my chest as I looked away from them. I couldn’t stand to see at them because I was left wondering how she could do this. At the same time I felt hypocritical because all of this had been a result of my doing.
She had beautiful kids though. I had to give her that. And if they made her happy, then I was happy…
I was just about to ask Dae if the guy who had been here was their father when he came strolling in. When we made eye contact he gave me a respectful nod which I mildly returned forcefully, turning green with envy.
Oh, so those were the type of guys she liked. I mindlessly started to compare myself to him. So what he was taller than me? At least she wouldn’t need a springing board to kiss me—god I hoped she hadn’t kissed him. I obliterated the thought out of my mind before it drove me insane. Sure, he was a little more muscular, but who cares. Hadn’t she told me she didn’t like guys that were too muscular? And yeah his cropped raven black hair glimmered darkly beneath the florescent lights, but so what? Nobody beat me when it came to hair. I had the best hair right? It’s not like I was expanding my head. I mean, my fans said so.
What the hell was I doing? How could I demean myself to such trivialities when Mariam lay in a hospital bed?
I was glad yet apprehensive for my racing thoughts to be cut off when the doctor walked in adorned in his prided white coat and a clipboard in his hand.
Me and that other guy shot up to our feet synonymously as though we’d been waiting for someone to count from one to three so that we could stand up when they said ‘go’. This simultaneous action caused us to glance at each other peculiarly.
I tore my eyes away from him and stepped to the doctor, ready to find out what the prognosis was.
“How is she doctor?” that guy asked before I could, making me squint at him like he was crazy. What did he mean how was my woman doing? He had no right to ask.
“Is she going to be okay?” I butted in pointedly, feeling that anonymous guy’s eyes on me as I asked.
“We’re still running tests on her. She hasn’t woken up yet. She was running a fever of a hundred and six.”
“A hundred and six?!” both me and that guy said at the exact same time. This caused us to glare at each other again—this time with annoyance more than skepticism. He was really starting to get in my nerves with his presence. What the hell was he to Mariam anyway?
“Yes. It is very serious. I believe she’s been having a fever for a while. She really should have come to the hospital sooner because cases like this shouldn’t be taken lightly.”
The other guy spit a vile curse as he planted his hands on his hips and shook his head at the ground, “I told her to take the week off but she’s so hardheaded, she wouldn’t listen to me.”
“Hardheaded?” I found myself saying. What did he know about her being hardheaded? Well, yes, she was hardheaded. But howcome he knew that? And what did he mean he wanted her to take the week off. How could he want her to do anything?
The guy’s head shot up to me, “Who are you supposed to be?”
The question got me fired up. How dare he?
“Who am I? Who are you? Wait that doesn’t even matter right now,” I turned to the doctor, “She’s going to be fine isn’t she?”
“Mariam had an infection of some sort earlier. Her immune system should have picked up on this and fought it off but it didn’t. Has she been tired lately?” the doctor asked me solely and I felt embarrassed because I had no idea.
“Yeah. she’d been complaining about chest pains. Feeling weak…” Mr. Know-it-all answered on my behalf.
I rolled my bottom lip in with my tongue as I folded my arms, trying to ward away the irritation that I felt.
“That's probably why she couldn't fight off the infection. It also seems that she hit her head when she fell because she suffered a concussion and is currently unconscious.” The look on the doctor’s face was too inscrutable for us to tell where he was going with this.
“Meaning?” I asked.
“There might be a case of brain damage but we won’t know that until she wakes up.”
His words made the room pall like a thundercloud had just rolled in. Life throws some curveballs at you when all you’ve ever seen is a clear road ahead of you. I couldn’t believe my ears.
“When will she wake up?” I asked hopefully.
The raised question made everyone stare at the doctor with baited breath.
“I’m afraid I can’t give you that answer.”
For several moments I stared at the doctor as shock and petrifaction twirled its thorny vines around me until I couldn’t breath. The shock passed through the room like a silent killer slaying in the night.
“Hopefully it wont be long. We didn’t find any misplacements in her skull, but it’s hard to tell where her mental state is with her being unconscious,” he suddenly addressed other guy, “Mr. Shin I know you’ve been here the entire night. I’d suggest you and the young lady get some rest—“
“No,” the other guy negated fervently, “I’m not going anywhere until she wakes up.”
“Seung, I need someone to take the kids home. Please. I’d like to be here if she wakes up.” Dae suddenly spoke up and we all turned to her to find her seated with the clueless children. Looking at the guy who I guess was called Seung, I saw that he wanted to take issue with that. He then cut his eyes at me suddenly as he spoke, “I don’t think strangers should be allowed to see her.”
“Strangers?!" I exclaimed, taking a step towards him, "What are you talking about?”
“Who are you? And why are you here?” Seung asked, taking a combative step forward. It had been a long time since I hit someone and I really honestly wouldn’t mind hitting this random dude right now. But I wasn’t here to pick fights. Neither was I here to play tag. I was here for Mariam, and this wasn’t a scene she would’ve reveled in.
“Look, I’m not here to fight with anyone,” I told him tightly before turning towards the perplexed doctor, “I need to see her—“
“You can’t see her.” Seung cut in.
“Who are you to tell me that I can’t see her?” I asked as I balled my hands into fists, my patience thinning.
“Look, I really don’t know what issues you all have, but I have to get going.” The doctor announced, taking a retreating step before Dae’s appeasing voice stopped him.
“Doctor please forgive us. We’re just all really frustrated due to this situation. It has been a rough night.”
“I imagine so.” The doctor assented.
“I still don’t think strangers should be allowed to see her.” This Seung guy insisted, making me let out an aggravated sigh.
“Seung, it’s okay. He’s an old friend of hers. He should be allowed to see her. Now please help me take the kids to the car. They’re both really tired and have had a very long night. I don’t think they’ll be going to school today.” Dae explained as Hye’s eyes drifted shut. Jin’s head rested on her knee, a clear indicator that he too was getting drowsy.
Seung held my gaze for a while, tension bubbling within him like he was a metal pot filled with hot water over a heated stove. He eventually capitulated and went to carry Jin before leaving close behind Dae but not before casting untrusting glances my way.
After apologizing to the doctor for having to witness that whole ordeal I asked him what room she was in and if I could go see her. After letting me know it was located on the fourth floor, I hurriedly made my way there like an automaton, my heart beating like it run on super charged batteries.
When I stood in front of the silver numbers indicating what room she was in, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply before turning the door knob.
When I opened my eyes, I stopped short when I saw what lay ahead of me.
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soul's cradle: ahhh I got so excited when I saw you had commented. I missed you! Lol thanks for still being here that just made my day.
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