| Fan Fiction |
by Pseudonym
Sorry if the chapter isn’t ‘meaty’ enough. if I added everything it would’ve been too long. I’ll be back tomorrow with the next installment.
Thank you all for reading! Personal responses to comments are after the chapter.
Chapter 7
Mariam
What would you do if you went to sleep in your bright, warm, homely room only to wake up in a dark, cold, foreign alley? And just to make matters more insane, what if the person who had broken your heart like no other was staring right at you as you woke into this unfamiliarity?
Well, when I opened my eyes, I was faced with this very situation.
What did I do? Nothing.
I did nothing because I was struck with disbelief so strong it paralyzed me.
Little did I know, this anon moment was the calm before the storm.
It was so quiet that we could hear the faint tick of the clock. Had I been breathing I’m sure my breaths could’ve been heard too, but I was holding my breath.
It was suddenly impossible to breath.
From the still way that the man before me remained I predicted the same was for him.
It took me a while to register to the warmth surrounding my hand. And when I verified that the reason his hand caused this warmth, I stiffened more than before. Seeing the link of our hands sent a caustic rush throughout every portion of my anatomy. Slowly, cautiously, my eyes drank all of him, following the trail of his hand, arm, shoulder, neck, until I made a final stop on his face to find him still rapt on me.
Like a cub bear tearing from its mother with its first attempts to walk, I slowly wriggled my hand away from his and shakily attempted to raise my hand to his face. The degree at which my hand trembled was alarming but not enough from stopping me to answer the question raised in my mind.
“Is it really you?” I whispered on a shred of air, barely moving my lips due to the exhaustion that subjugated me.
I just had to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming. I’d had far too many dreams—or maybe I should call them nightmares—where I’d wake up with him by my side then wake up a second time to the cold reality of an empty space beside me, only to end up on the verge of tears.
When I touched him, my eyes smarted with tears. It was like stepping back into home sweet home after being absent for a thousand years. My convulsing fingers started with his dark brown hair. I ventured further to his right brow. I then outlined the downward curve of his face. The more I touched, the more real this man became to me. My fingers came to a screeching halt when they stopped at the full lips that had once blessed me with unmitigated bliss.
Then it all hit me like an unpredicted earthquakes surprising a still night. In one swift motion I remembered the ruthless day he’d left, suddenly inundated with rage and grief that nearly drowned me.
I yanked my hand away from Jaejoong like he was hot iron that had burned me. As I got over my gripping shock, I began to shake violently from the tremors coursing through me. My hand went over my mouth in sheer horror.
“Mimi…” Jaejoong said once again, the unique voice that I had missed and loathed for all these years floating into me once again.
“This can’t be real…” I murmured incredulously.
Jaejoong stared at me with his wide orbs, making my heart clench with regret. Why was I regretful? It wasn’t my fault that he hadn’t been in my life for the past few years. But I still regretted not having him there.
“Huh? What?”
“You’re not here.” I found myself saying.
“Huh?” Jaejoong’s countenance was one of concern, “Mariam what are you saying? It’s me. Kim Jae Joong. I’m here.”
To a third party this might have looked rather odd—I might have looked crazy. But if you trekked down the same path I’d walked you’d understand why. The guy standing before me was someone I had once begged with on bended knee not to leave me. He was someone I had cried over during sleepless nights wondering when was the next time I’d see him again. He was someone who, just being able to steal one phone call with him for one day would send my spirits to heaven.
Now he was sitting there before me, in a posture that said he wasn’t going to leave soon. That was so unheard of when it came to him. I was used to him sitting on the edge, I was used to him living on the edge. He was always on the go yet he’d been sleeping on my lap.
No.
This could not be real.
It was too good to be true.
“Why are you here?” I finally asked when I forced myself to accept that he was here, “Why am I here? Where am I?”
“In the hospital. You were running a high fever, fainted and got a concussion when you hit your head.”
It was all still such a blur, all still too much for me to comprehend. The last thing I remember was me sitting in Dae’s living room.
I took in my tenebrous surroundings, noticing Dae was sound asleep on a chair before settling on Jaejoong again. My heart shivered as an unsettling emotion went through me. As I stared deeply at his eyes, I was reminded be two pairs that looked exactly like his.
“Where are they?!” I began to panic, trying to sit up as I looked around me.
“What? Mariam please, you shouldn’t move. I should get a doctor—”
“Hye! Jin! Where are my kids?!”
“Shh,” Jaejoong had reached for my hand again, “Calm down. They’re with…Seung right now. They were really tired so he took them back home to rest. Relax. They’re fine. They’ll be back soon.”
The large inhales and exhales I took eventually lessened. When it slowly began to make sense, I glanced up at Jaejoong again.
“Why are you here?” I asked again.
Jaejoong held my gaze for a long while before responding.
“You know why...” he said, his eyes faltering from mine in shame.
Silence coasted throughout the room. Scathing tears trailed down my temple. My heart cried out, wanting nothing more than to hug him but stab him all at the same time.
“So this is what I should have done all those years to make you come to me.” I asked, my chest filling with rancor as I slowly moved my hand away from his.
Jaejoong froze like I’d splashed him with scalding water.
“Mariam…” he frowned deeply, his shoulders sagging.
“Get out.” I whispered shakily. It didn’t matter that my head was pounding, or that I had tubes up my nose. All that mattered was me getting the source of pain standing in front of me away.
“Wait. Hear me out.“ He implored.
Going against better judgment, I compressed my lips tightly, waiting apprehensively to hear what he had to say.
Jaejoong opened his mouth, then closed it suddenly. Then his head lowered.
"I'm sorry..." he murmured inaudibly, making me outraged.
“After all this time, that's all you have to tell me? The words I hate the most? Get out.” I reiterated, tears trickling down my face. I was too afraid of what he would say.
“Please—“
“Get out!” I wanted to scream to show how adamant I was, but I was too weak to do so. My throat still burned as I’d remembered it doing. My limbs felt light and heavy all at once. I was still in a state of delirium. Who was to say I wasn’t just seeing things? Who was to say that Jaejoong wasn’t just a figment of my imagination?
Jaejoong’s tongue slowly crept along the corner of his full lips before furling them ruefully. After sighing deeply, he rose to his feet, placed the baseball cap that was at the foot of the bed over his mussed hair and turned to leave.
Stopping abruptly, he turned once again, sliding his hands into his pockets. His shoulders were rigid due to the laden tension in the room.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing—“ He spoke quietly. With his head downcast and the pitiful way he stood, he was just a mirror image of Jin. That rubbed me the wrong way and I went off at the handle, dispelling fury that had been bottled up and tightly lidded for four years.
“I don’t care what you want. You wanted out, so stay out! I’m not going to let you hurt me again. I’m never going to let you do to my kids what you did to me, okay?! Never! Get out! Get out!” my outburst was a bit overzealous. Talking about him hurting my kids was seemingly out of context, but these are words I’d say to myself whenever I'd look at my children. The thought of my kids, especially them being his, really messed with my psych.
Jaejoong’s confusion to my words was apparent. I’m sure he couldn’t understand why I had mentioned them so abruptly with so much infuriation.
“Mariam!” the urgent sound of my name made me look at Dae to find her awake. Sitting up in alert she rushed to my side, “Are you okay? You do know who I am don’t you?”
“Yes Dae. I’m fine. Just feel weak. That’s all…”
“Oh. I’m so glad you’re awake—“ Dae suddenly cut herself off at the mention of Jaejoong and looked the chair he’d once occupied. At the sound of faint footsteps she looked over her shoulder.
“Jaejoong oppa?”
Jaejoong stopped at the door and turned around with a sullen expression on his face.
“She’s awake!” she asked, her features contorting in confusing, “Where are you going?”
I nearly flinched from the way Jaejoong’s eyes diced at me. Why did my heart do that odd thing whenever he looked at me?
“Nowhere.” He finally said. His eyes were solely on me as he gave that answer as if to tell me he wasn’t going anywhere no matter what. Feeling an odd nervousness, my eyes flittered away from his as he stepped out of the room.
I couldn't believe it.
He was back.
He was really here.
I already knew then that this was going to be a long, arduous journey.
One which I was not prepared for.
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Personal Responses to Comments
rebelangels -- oh wow rebelangel I’m going to be honest. Your comment made me sleep with a smile on my face yesterday lol. I just hopped back on the site before going to bed and saw your comment and was just placed on cloud nine lol. May I know who R.A.P. are? Lol I would like to know hehe. I’m actually 19 and girl there are so many mistakes in my stuff. I basically edit my chapters daily. I usually update everyday or every other day just because I’m still in love with writing the story and I want to get it all out before the fire dies down lol. Thank you hun!
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emilyXX – thank you Emily! I started to read your story and I will respond when I’m done reading. Thank you so much!
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luckylady3 -- Hi luckylady thank you soooo much. I was really nervous about this story that no one would read it. Ah lol about being an official writer, well to be honest I’m trying. Like I’m working hard on manuscripts that I could send to different publishing companies but the publishing market is really difficult to break through. But hey, trying doesn’t hurt lol thank you!
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liberationgodes – aw the twins will be back in the next update! I’m so sorry but once Jaejoong and Mariam become comfortable with each other we’ll see more of the twins.
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bluepixie – lol aw thank you for finally commenting.
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lalalala – thank you hun!
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soul's cradle – soul’s cradle hiii lol I always get super excited when I see your name in the comments area. I’m starting to miss your story. Please do update soon? And thank you for reading! And yeah I’m updating fast cause I want to get this story out of my system while it still interests me (I lose interest quick lol)
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prinnè – hi prinne! Thank you so much lol yeah Mariam went a little crazy. I think I would too (only cause Jaejoong is so handsome hehe)
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Rachetto – thanks Rachetto lol I’m so surprised you still comment especially since being a silent reader it warms my heart. Thank you for reading…and we’ll see Seung’s true side.
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Diese – haha Diese buddy ol’ pal. How’s it going? About Dae’s background info I kind of faltered cause I got nervous that maybe I was straying away from the main plot. Anyway your comment made me so happy. I like intense views of the characters and stuff tehehe…and yes you should feel guilty. Do you know how many times I check your story to see if you’ve updated lol lmao what’s wrong with your supervisor?
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kmd – aw kmd thank you so much. Things will get better once they get over their shock lol. ahhhhhh!!!!
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MISO SOUP -- AHHH MISO lol you update quick thanks! Hehe I can’t wait to read what you had. Anyway thanks for reading hun!
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You guys don’t know how much your comments mean. I was so shocked because I honestly didn’t think anyone would read this story. Thanks for giving me the encouragement to keep writing it. If I don’t do individual responses for a while it’s only because I’m really busy but just know I appreciate every comment/reader.