Fan Fiction |
by vietnies
~*~
Most of those on the bus were dead asleep from fatigue.
After an exhausting day at the beach and an even more draining night performance, few could stay awake. But Chilam was still awake and had been awake since the bus started. He had too many things to think about and his stomach ached too much.
Seeing Charmaine approaching him, Chilam closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. He hadn’t made up his mind on what to do yet.
Charmaine looked at him thoughtfully when she arrived at his seat and then sat down quietly, to not disturb him.
Sighing at her inopportune timing, she almost returned to her seat next to Kevin, but quickly changed her mind when she realized how important it was that she tell Chilam, whether it was to the conscious-Chilam or unconscious-Chilam.
Looking out the front window, she began.
“You looked really pale today…are you all right? I know you’re asleep and I don’t want to disturb you, but I need to sat some things and you’re the only one here I feel comfortable enough with to really talk to.” Charmaine paused for a second and glanced over at Chilam. She resumed.
“Kevin kissed me…at the beach…” Charmaine said softly, almost with regret. If she had been looking at Chilam, she would have noticed that his eyebrows immediately furrowed when he heard the words “kissed me”. But she wasn’t looking at him and so, she continued.
“I don’t know…it wasn’t the magical first kiss that most talk about…and you know, I don’t even think I like him…He’s good-looking, sure, but it doesn’t feel like he has any depth…but I really don’t have the right to demand anything right? I didn’t even have my first kiss till I was 19, and it wasn’t even a consensual kiss. I didn’t even know it was gonna happen…I’m pathetic, huh?” Charmaine laughed at her self, rather bitterly.
At this point, Chilam couldn’t pretend anymore. He opened his eyes to look at her. Feeling someone’s gaze, Charmaine looked around her, to find Chilam awake.
“I’m sorry…I haven’t been sleeping and I—I heard what you said,” Chilam tried to explain.
Charmaine didn’t know how to react to realize that she had divulged secret thoughts to a conscious person. But, unusually, she wasn’t overly frightened, because, for some reason, she trusted him.
“It’s a’ight, we’re…friends, right?” Charamine said, as casually as possible.
“You’re wrong about a lot of things…smart as you may be, Charmaine,” Chilam muttered with a smile. He continued.
“It’s not pathetic that you were 19 without a first kiss, until today, of course. I’m…what…20 without a first kiss, so I’m even more pathetic!” Chilam was very relaxed, and there wasn’t a trace of self-pity.
“Oh, don’t lie! What about your whole bit this morning, about your first girlfriend, and how she broke up with you right where you guys had your first kiss?” Charmaine demanded, in a manner highly unlike herself.
“See, that was the lie. I…I didn’t want you to be around some people, so I had to think of a way to distract you.”
Rather taken back, Charmaine was her usual stoic self for a moment.
“But what about that line you had…what was it...” Charamine remarked once she regained herself. “ ‘Sometimes you gotta do the things you don’t like because it’s good for you.’ Come on, explain that, or…nothing really…because I’m not violent, but I do want to know…”
Laughing at Charmaine’s good humor, Chilam explained. “I didn’t want to lie to you, because I don’t like lying, but it would’ve been bad…for me, mainly, if I hadn’t tried to deter you from it.”
Thinking over the dialogue that had been exchanged, Charmaine finally put together certain pieces of the puzzle.
“All right, I need you to answer truthfully about two things, k?” When Charmaine saw Chilam nodded in agreement, she went on. “First, you’ve read Dostoevsky?”
“Hmm-hmm. One of my favorite authors…” Chilam replied, unaware of where the conversation was headed.
“Then you're a charlatan!!” Charmaine accused light-heartedly, as she pointed her finger at Chilam.
“Stealing a quote from The Adolescent from Fyodor Dostoevsky, and thinking I wouldn’t know…I’m your book buddy, remember?”
Chilam laughed at Charmaine’s unusual sassiness and noted how adorable she was; even with his tiredness, he still noted how naturally beautfiul she was.
“Secondly, you didn’t want me to spend time with Kevin? Is that who you meant by ‘be around some people’ earlier?” Charmaine asked, more seriously, removing her pointed finger.
“Yeah, it was. I thought you’d figure it out when I told you that I didn’t trust him, that maybe he wasn’t very trustworthy…” Chilam explained. Seeing Charmaine’s confused visage, he decided he would answer her question before she could ask; it was easier that way.
“I can’t tell you why I truly don’t want you to spend time with him, at least until you aren’t in a relationship with him. But I can tell you why I didn’t want to tell you and why it’s hard for me to just tell him off…”
So, the two indulged in conversation for the rest of trip. Charmaine never returned to her seat next to Kevin.
~*~