Fan Fiction |
by vietnies
Chilam glanced around the band room, ascertaining that all the equipment had been packed for the trip to Oxnard tomorrow. He walked over to the uniform rack and looked at his drum major uniform, feeling slightly nervous that he would conduct his first show in less than 24 hours. Taking another look at the room, he turned off the lights, locked the band room door, and headed towards his car in the parking lot.
He was busy looking at the stars when he suddenly heard a familiar voice. He looked up to see a figure, talking on his cell phone. Chilam could only see the back of his head, but he was sure the voice was Kevin’s. After all, Chilam had to deal with all of Kevin’s inopportune remarks almost on a daily basis.
“I’m telling you…I can get any girl I want, and this girl isn’t any different… I got “ice-cold Christine” last year and “Defensive-Jonnie” the year before that…this won’t be any different” Kevin said into the cell, with a confident laugh.
Chilam sighed, shook his head, and opened his car door. Once he sat down, he sighed again, and drove away quickly.
~*~
Charmaine went over to her locker and double-checked to make sure she had already packed her music, shoes, and trumpet. Noticing the uniform rack, she walked over and found her uniform. She felt a slight anxiety and excitement to be able to march with Drum Corps International’s “best band.” As she walked out the door, she noticed Chilam leaning against the wall alone, gazing up at the clouds, with his back to her.
“Didn’t know you liked to play the cloud-watching game…” Charmaine remarked softly.
“I don’t like it. But sometimes you’ve gotta do the things you don’t like because it’s good for you…” Chilam replied ambiguously as he turned to face her.
“Is something wrong? I’m here to listen if you want to talk about it,” Charmaine offered, sensing Chilam’s sullen mood.
“I’m don’t talk about things…Besides, when the wind makes the desolate leaves fall, only it can change it,” Chilam continued vaguely.
“Do you want me to just sta—” Charmaine started before she was cut off by her cell phone.
“I’ll be okay, just go ahead.” Chilam stated weakly, almost without energy.
“All right… If that’s what you want, but if you need anything…” Charmaine said as she walked away.
~*~
After Chilam loaded the bus and confirmed that everyone was on the bus and that the bus could leave, he walked over to where Charmaine and Kevin were sitting. Kevin was talking and Charmaine seemed to be smiling very brightly.
“Hey, Chilam!” Kevin exclaimed.
“Hey, guys. Listen, Charmaine, you know how you said that if I needed anything to ask you?” Chilam asked in a tone that he rarely spoke with, almost lethargic.
Once Charmaine nodded, he continued, “Well, I changed my mind and I need to talk about something…”
Understanding what he meant, Charmaine turned to Kevin and explained, “You know, what? I’m gonna hafta go sit with Chilam for the first half of the trip…maybe halfway through the trip I’ll go and sit with you or something… You don’t mind right?”
Before waiting for Kevin’s answer, she pushed Chilam towards the front of the bus to two empty seats.
~*~
“So what did you need to talk about?” Charmaine asked gently, once the bus made it to the freeway.
“You know how tonight will be my first performance conducting the Blue Devils?” Chilam asked and without waiting for a reply, he continued, “Well, I was thinking about why I joined this band and I thought of her.”
Chilam paused for a minute, as though hesitating to disclose anymore.
“She…was my first kiss, my first girlfriend, my first love…and I thought we were really gonna make it too; that’s why I asked her to marry me before graduation… And she agreed, at first, but, then there was that day in June…” Chilam paused again.
After putting his head against the headrest and closing his eyes, he resumed, “I still remember everything that happened, every word she said… She called and arranged for us to meet by Hart Lake; that was where we first kissed… and before any actual greetings were exchanged, she just adamantly spoke about it. ‘Perhaps I’m being unfair to you,’ she began, not sounding like herself at all. ‘I think this is what they all as passion, because I really can’t think straight, but I know one thing: without you it’s the end of me, and with you it’s also the end. It makes no difference where you are: far or near, you’re always there. And yet, I know I could hate you a good deal more than I could love you…and I’m sorry that I had to fall in love with someone like you, because it was you who made me decline Harvard! It was you made me give up the dream I worked for since I was 5 years old!’ At this point she was nearly screaming at me in fury, but like always, she regained control of herself and continued, ‘I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend like everything is okay, because I will hate you if I stay with you and I will hate myself if I leave you, so here’s your ring.’ And with that she turned around and left…and I did too. I left for Texas A&M, not only to study music composition but to help with the Blue Devils.”
Not knowing what to do, she pulled Chilam into a hug. It was the first time she had ever initiated a hug with a guy, but it didn’t feel awkward to her. After a while, she let him go and he leaned against the window again. He seemed very exhausted.
“So, does this mean you still love her?” Charmaine questioned gingerly.
“I don’t know yet…but I definitely didn’t think she’d still have that much of an impact on me…” Chilam’s reply was still in a manner completely different from himself.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you want to talk to me about it? I thought you didn’t talk about this stuff…” Charmaine continued with caution.
“Well, I didn’t pick Kevin because I…don’t trust him much, and I’m afraid others will talk about it and spread stuff about how I’m not a good leader; and you’re always so quiet around others…” came the slow answer by Chilam.
“Oh.”
~*~