| Fan Fiction |
by whitefoxbuns
If I beg and if I cry, would it change the sky tonight, would it give me sunlight?
[Ji Yong’s POV]
Somewhere among the darkness, I found myself. Beeping machine, pin pricked skin and a thirst of a dying man; I woke up on the hospital bed. Beneath the heavy lids, my dilated orbs welcomed the blue light, flooding in from the window blinds. Where am I? My fingertips were caressed by some kind of soft material. It appeared to be cotton, shining in the darkness. I groaned to myself, feeling deflated as if I had run miles through a desert.
A mere movement, close to invisibility; my eyes caught a form, shoulders rising with each steady breath. I blinked once then twice, staring past the cover, to embrace the sight. Seungri slumped shoulders lying carelessly with his arms tucked neatly beneath his soft tufts. The moonlight casted a silhouette of his sleepy figure; the shadow hid his face, pouring over my sheets. I groaned, catching a hold of my voice. It strummed tightly, scratching my chords causing me to swallow painfully. “Se…Seu…” Just two tries and I faced defeat. My lips thinned and brows furrowed.
There was nothing I could do but wait. My fingers slowly contacted his cheek, flushed warm to the touch even when he was swarmed in the cool moonlight.
------
[Seung Ri’s Flashback]
“Hyung! Hyung!” I shook Ji Yong head with my right shoulder. Who knew his head was so heavy. It throb my flesh painfully. I sighed in defeat, nothing I could do to wake this guy up. We had a photo shoot today. It was one of those wretched events. The student uniforms plucked and fitted skin tight wrapped our bodies to the T’s. Flashing camera and bright smiles were everything but real. Our facades were played out well after years and years of practice, control and conform. We are nothing but five guys living with our dreams hanging on our hearts. The things keeping us alive each day were hope and friendship.
We snuck our worn out bodies into one big van. Seunghyun hyung and Daesung stationed the middle seats with heavy slumps and groans. Our managers took the two front seats, leaving Ji Yong, Young Bae, and I stuffed in the back. I was the unfortunate youth, pushed and shoved; I was crushed up between Young Bae and Ji Yong. That was how that large, heavy head of his took its crash on my poor shoulder.
I remembered my body being mixed with exhaustion and deprivation, sitting there wide awake, staring past the van’s windows listening to my hyungs breaths. Each one was so different yet so alive in synch. Maybe I should’ve blamed this, for what happened, blamed my weakness for falling, and my lack of affection. Stupid of me to go ahead without thinking and whispered to Ji Yong the feeling I held trapped inside for so long.
“Hyung… did you know that I always wanted to have at least one day with my heart fully intact?”
I laughed out, breathes tickled the strands of hair flaunting on my shoulder. Inside, I finally snapped the lock open.
The van drew to a stop around one in the morning. Everyone eyes caked up with dirt and sleep. Somber pulled us in effortlessly. Without a single thoughts, we muttered ‘goodnights’ and ‘sleep well’ to one another. I dragged my feet around like a ghost sauntered without a home, feeling empty after the confession. I wandered pass Ji Yong’s door, hearing nothing. Hesitating, I had the urge to bid him a “goodnight hyung” or “today was nice” or something along that line. Anything that was good enough for an excuse to talk to him. Tongue darting out to lick my dry lips; I made to knock on the door but then let it fall as soon as it was merely an inch before it collided with the wood. I was such a coward.
I heaved myself to turn and walk away from him. Inside thinking Ji Yong would be deep asleep by now.
“Maknae!”
Startled by a familiar whisper, my heart began to beat as I turned toward the sound. “Neh?”
Ji Yong eyes were deep black fluttered with amusement of some kind. In fact, he was wide awake, much to my disappointment. I tried not to swallow in nervousness but fail. “Neh hyung?” I asked him again after standing there waiting for his reply.
Ji Yong, with his head leaning on the door frame, began to say something but stopped. My eyes glued onto his wet tongue coming out for his lips. Minutes felt like hours as
I felt an invisible string wrapped around me, pulling me toward him. I blinked back, gathering any conscience I had left and tried to walk away. Ji Yong though had a different plan in mind.
My wrist pulled back violently by his hand, dragging as I tumbled, grabbing onto the flat surfaced wall for support.
“Hyung! What are you doing?!” I shouted to Ji Yong, trying to keep my voice calm, when my inside panicked. ‘Please don’t let me fail’
We collided into a mess, toppled into his room in all hands and legs tangled up against the wall. I was up against it with Ji Yong’s hands pinned me like a cage. Eyes wild and scare, I wondered if he could see me like this in the dark. Maybe so for my heart crashed when I could see the depressed glow coming through his windows. “Hyung…” I breathed trying to think up any possible excuse to pacify my racing heart. ‘He’s playing with you’, ‘stop being so helplessly naïve’, ‘maybe he just need a company’
No
No
“N-”
I was blank when it happened too soon. His face came out of the shadow, leaning in slowly, and eyes gleaming while approaching mine. Warm lips eased hesitantly; soft, earnest and fully concerned with how I felt. My heart was an explosion on mute.
Hot and alive to the touch, I turned from something rigid to nothing but a puff of gas, trying to float to every single direction. Ji Yong fastened his mouth to the tender flesh of mine, burning with every nervous wet breath I took. The kiss was passionate; as if Ji Yong set a match to my gas soaked heart.
Every last shreds of resistance and ability to form rational thoughts drifted away as Ji Yong pulled back with my lips locked onto his. Gasping and tumbling backward onto his simple bed, my hands were full of his hair while his were everywhere on my body; rough fingers up and down my sides, slid under my shirt and demanded submission.
Young and innocent fingers wrapped themselves up in the lose fabric of his shirt. I moaned into his open mouth, feeling his hard and hot body pressed down as I tried to push up; meeting him in the middle.
-oh MY GOD -
Ji Yong mouth did something that made my toes curled the way it never did before. Vaguely, noticing my shirt was coming undone, Ji Yong’s lips, teeth and tongue made their paths all over my cheek, jaw and neck. He settled in the crevice of my chest breathing hard. I dizzily stroked his back, fingers clawed over his clothed shoulders pulling him back to me. We fastened in another battle, tongue, sweat, fingers with soft whispers and harsh strokes. Seeming like the situation had gone so far out of our control, I threw everything away just to be able to feel his hands roaming my skin with needs as I popped each buttons; opening it, sliding it down slowly just so I can pull it back up, grabbed onto it, tugged it hard every time he bit down and drank me like a drunken man.
‘I’m dreaming.’ I thought fuzzily as Ji Yong trailed his lips down my skin.
‘I’ll wake up soon, hard on, jerk off…’
“ngh…h..ah.”
Ji Yong blew, hot and moist; down below my navel. There were nibbles and kisses that was more of harassment than anything else-with bruising force that would leave me a mass of purple in the morning. My stomach was boiling as I was half aware of the fabric brushing off my knee, slipping off my heated skin.
I stared up the ceiling; my eyes unfocussed, fluttering wildly. Ji Yong had cleverly moved down, passed the realm of my thighs, palms caressing the flesh there. A throaty moan rose from my lungs and out my mouth. I bit down on my lips, hissing at the newfound kind of pleasure-pain-when Ji Yong carefully slid in and out. Those fingers stroked a shard inside of me and I shattered again and again; weeping bliss into his mouth once he came to shut me up with a kiss.
I hung onto to him for dear life ‘please…please…don’t stop’ ‘don’t leave…no...’ I pleaded and begged when they withdrew. Then Ji Yong entered with an ease, so slow…so desperately mixed with ecstasy and pain. Scraping back, digging fingers and biting sheet, I moaned at the sharp entry.
“hah…hyung..” Ji Yong cheek was close enough for me to whisper harshly, not stopping when his thrust sent me into heat flash, panting without shame. Our lips were smothered, together and apart, catching hold of our breaths then losing them. My hot thighs winded tight around his back, pulling and urging him on, closer than before.
A grunt, so distinctively animal like and wild pushed past
his lips and fell on mine. Ji Yong eyes, dazed with serious concentration and pure desire that made me whimpered in needs.
The mattress moved, squeaking underneath the shadows of our bodies. My eyes watched our figures, hovering in rhythm resonating sounds. Tightening my grip on him, I tried to speak with uneven syllables, voice low and dripped with seduction.
“J..Ji…ah…god….FUCK!” Something was rubbing at my sex. Fast and long strokes, the frictions made me sparkled, legs parted wider, gripping his hip tighter. My toes curled when Ji Yong caressed me with a soft squeeze. I wept out, feeling I might die from this feeling.
“G...goddd...” The word slurred when I screamed, as if it was stuck to my tongue, stretching and stretching. With each of Ji Yong’s repetition, my voice increased higher and shorter, driving out of control. Ji Yong was close. I could feel him hotter than ever, hard and heavy sliding deep in and out above my gasping body. My wrists, clamped down by Ji Yong’s sweaty fingers. I was helpless, feeling my front being assisted by the friction created with his stomach.
Calling out his name so loud, I clung to him tight as my voice escaped me and echoed off the wall. I came, flushed hot between our stacked bodies. My reaction sent Ji Yong off the cliff, bursting as he urged a low grunt, milking his final thrust, pushing my vision into oblivion.
My gasp, dry and raw, heaving beneath Ji Yong’s collapsed form. Worn out and weary we laid there motionless like two statues glued together. Ji Yong hot skin wrapped me up like a blanket, as I snuggled onto his shoulder; sighing relief as sleep lured me under.
[Flashback Ends]
----
“Ah!”
I jolted awake; body worried with sleep and exhaustion. My forehead drenched in cold sweat as I tried to control the breathy gasps coming out of my system. ‘It was just a nightmare.’ I assured myself, repeating and repeating. “Nightmare...nothing else” I took a hold of Ji Yong’s hand lying close to my head. The images of him blue and dead kept flashing back into my head. It was so real; my fingers gripped tight onto his warm ones, where just a moment ago they were rigid and ice cold. Releasing a tight whimper, I didn’t know was there, my throat choked up with a new feeling of relief. Watching Ji Yong breathing in a shallow and steady rhythm brought me back to reality.
I groaned into my palm. My hair was messy so was my face. Sleep was nothing but a phase where my eyes close, and I thought for a moment I could forget everything. My eyes were sore from staying up all night worrying about when Ji Yong was going to wake up. Days passed by, Ji Yong was a dying life and I was a living dead.
“Hyung...”
My lips moved in a motion that resembled a butterfly; so
small and delicate my voice was its wings. I moved them in a way that was his name, only that there was no sound escaping. Continuing will only brings me closer to the brim of tears.
“H...hyung...”
My eyes shut tight; trying to ceil away the things that
were gathering there; partying on the edge of my misery. I fail when they trailed down my face, tickled my skin wet.
“Wake up.” I shook his leg a bit the first time. Slow and pleading, then pausing to stare up at his emotionless face. My hands moved by themselves as they swayed his body faster and harder. “Wake up!” I shouted, muffled by the overwhelming cry flooding out; making no sensible sound.
There...that dull ache in my chest was coming back now. The throb from such an old injury buried deep from the shame of my mistake. I shouldn’t have let it happened. Now the band aid was ripped revealing a fresh wound, coming back alive as long as my heart beats.
“Mianhe...”
I look up at him; vision unclear and watery.
“I didn’t mean it...I didn’t mean to do that hyung!”
My hands gripped tight onto the sheet as I switched my gaze
away, fear from the shame of my confession. “It was all a mistake. ”
,
Koljitmal I whispered into my palms, sobbing away.
“ Babo ... You could’ve told me that sooner.”