| Fan Fiction |
by whitefoxbuns
“Babo... You could’ve told me that sooner.”
Epilogue – Sideways
Ji Yong’s words; soft but firm hung onto my head, knocking senses into my dazed mind that he was finally awake. I grabbed a tight hold onto the now wet cotton sheet. Fisting it hard enough; the feeling from the sudden lump choking my throat caused me to inhale through my nostrils sensing more than just tears coming back to me.
I averted my gaze, feeling Ji Yong eyes softened into something unknown. I looked down to my hands, watching them shook as a sob creeping its way up my throat.
“Look at me”
He muttered quietly; from the corner reaching out to my side and I closed my eyes as soon as those fingers got a hold of my stained cheeks. My lips trembled from something new flooded into my lungs. Ji Yong breath was low. It lingered as we pulled away in hesitation. Ji Yong leaned in again; this time we kissed as if we were testing the water.
Is it safe now? How long? Did you miss me?
Moving closer, gripping Ji Yong shoulders with all the strength I have left, afraid he would disappear if I let go now.
Yes...since forever...so much
Ji Yong smiled, grazing my lips with something hard while he laughed openly into the kiss. My heart fluttered violently; flapping like a bird’s wings, springing back to life.
“Let’s not do this again” He beamed, eyes glimmered in the dark, suggesting quietly as he leaned his forehead against mine.
“It hurts too much.” I closed my eyes, the wetness kept pouring out but I grinned wholeheartedly; nodding repeatedly.
“Mianhe, mianhe...mianhe” Ji Yong whispered apologetically, hands wiping my face. His palms rested fully on my heaty skin.
Lips coming in and out as if trying to calm me down from my new found shock.
I broke away but only to tug him back again, wrapping my arms around him, my face pressing close to his chest. Relief washed over me and for the first time in my life I was finally truly happy.
--------------------
A week passed by. The hospital became more preoccupied and busy due to the cold season. Flocks of people checked in and out but unfortunately none of those conditions could rub off of Ji Yong. Of course he was not getting worse or else I would be miserable. According to his doctor, Ji Yong’s way back to health was just taking a bit longer than normal.
Pneumonia mixed with exhaustion most of the times ended up fatal. How lucky he was.
I made it a regularity to visit his room as often as possible. The schedule picked up toward the end of the year; Christmas then New Year. The feeling of loss stayed linger for a while; faintly but hidden. So once awhile I took the initiative to stay overnight. Of course those times always ended up in surprise.
“Hyung”
Ji Yong looked up from the magazine, strewn opened on his sheet covered laps. I snuck a glance at the pages and guessed the content. Caps lock and bold letters, it read ‘BIG BANG G-DRAGON COLLAPSE!’ Although I sure doubted that it was half the truth.
I hesitated for the space of a heartbeat. My chest constricted at the topic we are about to start on. As I took a moment for my tongue to find the right word, I found myself trying to steady my breath. Just the thought of it recalled the disappointing memories.
“You. . . Sun Ye noona. . . what will happened?”
My digits fidgeted with the cover nervously. Eyes fastened upon eyes and I was startled when Ji Yong grabbed my hand and gave it a soft press. He stroked the rough skin on the back of my thumb comfortingly.
“Nothing will happen.”
“We broke up.”
My mind, frozen in blacken state, registered the words coming out from those lips.
“When?”
“The other day, she came by to see me. I think she might have seen me and you . . . doing. . .”
Ji Yong paused. A smirk adorned his face and I realized what reclined underneath that suggestive tone. My face flushed red with realization; gawking at the thought of someone peeking in from the doorway.
“Yeah . . . so she must’ve seen us together. She came in after you left and gave my face quite a beating.”
Hearing Ji Yong soft chuckle, my jaw dropped in shock. He continued; eyes gleaming with amusement.
“But you know what was even more shocking? She smiled and hugged me afterward.” His eyebrows rose in a laughing way.
“She complained of how much of a fucking bastard I was. And that it was just low for me to use her like that.” Ji Yong let his eyes wandered, staring into space. Then suddenly glancing up at me, those orbs stayed pinned on me with a soften expression.
“She also told me to never hurt you again.”
He drew out a sigh and with a wide grin plastered on his face that reminded me of the Kwon Ji Yong I met few years ago, he pinched my cheeks hard enough for me to groan in pain.
“That’s it?” Wiping his hands away, I questioned suspiciously.
“Well! What did you expect? Sun Ye is not that kind of girl. Give me some credit maknae. At least I chose the right kind of girl to relieve my stress over you. Though I couldn’t say much about that back hand slap she gave me. What about you and Changmin?”
At the mention of Changmin, I tensed up. ‘What a hopeless case I was.’ I rubbed my forehead in confusion catching Ji Yong muttering something along the line of “I knew he was no good.”
There was a pregnant pause, for which I also realized it was part my fault. I stood up wanting to find a place for myself to think it through. No matter what, my intention was not to hurt Changmin. I made to head out but was held down when Ji Yong grasped my wrist.
“Don’t go.”
The tiny desperation between the letters as Ji Yong whispered with his eyes casted downward squeezed my inside; all else disappeared.
“No” I scoffed “I’m just going to get us lunch. You---”
“I mean it.” Ji Yong cut me off, leaning in to close off the distance between us. My breaths shorten as I exhaled and inhaled onto his lips.
--------
Riding on the passenger side, the images of glowing lights dyeing their hues onto the frozen snow gathered at the crevices of the walls; the street with its pavement wet, shined with the reflection of Christmas Eve. Once in a while, the sound of ringing bells and laughter awaken my day dream and I turned around to stare past the leather seat to watch a sleeping form with his face rested against the fogged up window. No one realized enough how much of a gift he was to me, lying there, chest heaving in a steady rhythm of breath.
The car halted suddenly coming to a stop sign. Ji Yong shifted and his shoulder twitched at the pull though his eyes did not open.
“Seungri” I looked to the driver side. Tae Yang hyung sat there, vision straight ahead though he didn’t seem tense.
“Neh hyung?”
Tae Yang hyung turned and flashed a banana smile. His eyes squinted then returned to its original state which was devoted to the street traffic. I snickered into my hands, feeling my cheeks warming in surprise.
“What was that for?” The question needed no necessary answer for Tae Yang hyung rarely showed that strange smile of his.
A comfortable silence followed after the car picked up its engine at the start of the green. It was not until the next signal of red that Tae Yang hyung opened his mouth.
“Thanks” He sighed and I felt a grin crawling up my face.
“Well, me too” I replied with a laugh.
“Have you talked to Changmin?”
There it goes again. Changmin Changmin. I teethed my lips in worried at the mention of his name. ‘Does Tae Yang knows?’
“What do you mean?” I looked out the window again pretending that there was no gut feeling visible. At the speed of the car, the familiar soju restaurant appeared closer and closer. The more of Changmin kept popping up.
A scoffed with no guess came from Tae Yang. He knew.
“I know.”
I choose not the answer that for I do not wish to dig my own grave.
“Maknae . . . whatever you do . . . Changmin will understand.” Tae Yang smiled comfortingly, nodding as the wheel turned toward the recognizable building. From the back, Ji Yong groaned groggily. A loud yawn signaled his conscious.
“Yah! Home sweet home!” His laughing voice interrupted the awkward air and with a pull on my arm, he climbed out of the car dragging the infamous Channel duffel bag.
“Kahja!” Tae Yang tugged my jacket; heading out of the car, he pointed after Ji Yong hovering form and joked.
“How are we going to explain to the media when Ji Yong had to check back in the hospital due to a hyper member jumping on him?”
‘Oh, Daesung, a little boy in a big body’
I yelled after Ji Yong, who was impatiently waiting in the elevator. “Be careful!”
---------------------
♫…Ring Ring… Next Day Ringtone… Ring Ring…♫
“Hyung! Can you PLEASE turn down the TV!?”
“YUHBASAEYO?! . . .Yuhbasaeyo?”
Glaring at the back of Daesung’s head, I imagined darts flying toward the bulging target. Daesung had paid no mind to the loud request I shouted just a moment ago. Grudgingly, I clawed my way out of the couch then snuck into the restroom. As soon as the door shut, the noise died down giving an obvious relief through the phone.
“Yuhbasaeyo. . . ” I greeted for the third time.
“Seungri. . . ”
I stuttered at the voice, in which made my throat constricted feeling my heart took up the pace. A waited calm passed through the wires as my inner coward anticipate the dead ring of hung up any moment. It never came.
“Can we talk?”
My tongue found itself bitten, holding still without a word of reply. I hesitated; at lost of what to do next.
“Meet me down stair.”
With that, the sound echoed loudly; dead beat waiting for my thumb to brush off the seal.
Heading for the door, I tried not to let anyone catch my eyes; perhaps if they did my cowardice could topple over.
“I’ll be right back!” With a faked shout, passed the tightly shut door; feet match the thumping march that threatened to break my chest. The loud sound of rubber hitting pavement slowly came to a stop as soon as my eyes caught the little red hidden underneath a coat of white. ‘How long has he been here?’
The silhouette reached over and with a ‘pop’, the passenger door pushed open like a waiting hand. My feet gradually kneading the pace, faltered a bit then descended onto the leather seat.
‘Here I go. . .’
For a while, I fidgeted with the sleeve of my jacket, waiting for him to initiate the confrontation. As the silence stretch, my mind began to jumble from the lack of better judgment and words.
“Changmin listen, I---”
“No, let me” Changmin turned, his eyes burned with something indifferent that I can’t figure out.
“Look. . . I am sorry for what happened. If I hadn’t take you out for a drink and let you get so drunk, Ji Yong hyung wouldn’t get sick.”
I shook my head repeatedly, groaning at the faults Changmin claimed to be his.
“Seung Ri . . . I like you a lot.”
I swallowed thickly; staring hard at my feet imagined they could vanish right at this second. From the side, Changmin took a deep shallow breath and continued.
“And. . . even though you do not feel the same way. . . I’m ok with that.”
My head sped toward him. The movement left a painful sore at the nook of my neck. Changmin’s statement erased anything I had in mind. Hurling my body over the driver’s seat, my arms wrapped around his broad shoulders silently thanking him through the hug.
“Changmin . . . thank you, thank you!” I smiled into his shoulder. The breath of Changmin’s chuckle ghosted over my ear, warming the tips. His body shook; returning the embrace.
Pulling apart, Changmin kept a careful hold on my forearms.
“But you can always come to me whenever you like.” He smirked, gathering my hairs in his palm then rubbed lazily.
“Arasol” I laughed, fingering the opening switch and the door swung open. The freezing air washed over me again; though my inside was warm with relief. I held the door open for a moment, observing the traces of emotions; disappointment, sympathy, joy, care flashed on and off the canvas of which I called Changmin’s face.
“Have a merry Christmas Changmin.”
------
Creeping inside, my foot tripped over an overly large shoe, lying carelessly at front door. In the dead quiet, the click of the metallic lock echoed like pounding drum. My sweat covered fingers gripped a tight hold on the handle bar of the stair case. Tip toeing and cursing at the occasional creeks bellow my feet.
It was quite late when I left for Changmin, coming back to the dorm I realized how close it was to midnight. Daesung fell asleep on the couch, drool seeping out from the side of his mouth while mumbling nonsense under his breath.
‘So everyone is asleep. Great!’
With my back pressed up the inside of my room, I sighed in relief knowing I would be safe for the night. My bed looked really tempting right now; draped under the streetlight, peaking in from the opened blinds, the softness of the mattress seems to seduce me into the vast warmth. I made to move closer but halted at the sudden cough startling me from the corner of the room.
“Where have you been?” Immediately I recognized the tone. Its owner though did not seem tense nor angry. I grinned at the question; the shadow hiding a mischievous laugh, threatening to bubble from my throat. Somewhere in the back of my mind I envisioned a smirk spreading slowly across his cheek.
“Hyung . . . you are supposed to be in bed.” I whined knowing full well what to expect from Ji Yong in return. My heart pounded with excitement as the gleam of amusement in his eyes was caught as he stepped closer into the light.
“I slept all day maknae.” He continued.
“You need more sleep than I do.” Ji Yong rough finger tips reached out and brushed the darken skin below my eyes. “Doesn’t it hurt?” He said letting the digits run across my skin. “Not really” Shaking my head; pieces of hair faltered over my eyes shielding it from observing Ji Yong’s movements as if they were the strings of a puppet.
Ji Yong’s fingers remained on the spots circling his thumbs over the corners of my lids; forcing me to shut them tight. Within the space of an exhale, they opened again to gaze up. Ji Yong’s eyes shined in the dark, quickly glanced from his thumbs into my eyes. Leaning forward, crushing our lips together, my desire increased with the dragging of his knuckles across my cheeks.
The feel of Ji Yong arms tightened when he kissed back fervently. Our lips barely parted with a momentarily pushed and pulled back to the bed waiting patiently.
*YAOI WARNING*
A soft chuckle escaped between the wetness as our bodies tumbled onto the messed sheets. Something hard and square glided against my back but I paid no mind to it. My desire was heightening so fast that I barely managed to suppress a moan risking the awakening of the sleeping members.
I groaned feeling Ji Yong’s hands caressed my bare back. Suddenly the crispy sound of guitar played out in low volume that it took me a while to realize the object below my back was a remote control. Ji Yong swiped it away carelessly and it landed with a soft thud, laid forgotten as the music played on.
With a hard tug, my body felt a force of gravity pressing flushed up Ji Yong’s form. We continued to kiss, moving our lips over one another’s as our tongues slid in and out; fingers fumbling with buttons and zippers. Trailing my palms across his back, Ji Yong naked skin soaked in a thin sheet of sweat mingled beneath the cover. He moaned and the grasp he had around my waist tightened; pulling me closer. Breathing heavily, our bodies strewn under the tight cover, gasping as the air between us lessened.
In a split second, Ji Yong lay down completely and I bit the inside of my cheeks holding back the scream. Instead the marks made by my nails imprinted onto his back left trails of red and white on top of the supple skin. My lips traced back up his neck, seeking out Ji Yong’s lips; feeling the raw pain as Ji Yong pushed past the tight realm; sliding in painfully slow.
The grip on my hips would bruise in the morning. At the thought of it, a feeling of happiness overwhelmed me. With my legs winded tight on either side of his body, Ji Yong thrusts harder. Groans harshly muffled by my neck.
A weepy moan won over; made it passed my lips when his hardness stroked a pleasurable flint deep inside me. I hissed breathlessly; hips rolling in excitement as the pace picked up causing the shard to be struck repeatedly.
My heart raced with ecstasy and my stomach rippled with desire. Ji Yong reached backward, heaving my thighs upward and closer as we rocked forward groaning loudly. He was now thrusting faster; leaning down to capture my lips in a heated kiss. Swaying my hips upward meeting him with every pound, I cried out in pleasure; fingers clawing at the sheet. The bed shook and my head seems to spin out of control.
Breathless panting echoed throughout the room. My legs tightened feeling a rupture beginning to swell up below my navel. My stomach tingled feeling even closer to peak. Clamping down hard into Ji Yong, I climaxed; sensing the pleasure erupted from head to toes. Ji Yong grunted harshly, thrusting harder milking his last pushed as he toppled over releasing himself into my body.
Breathing heavily, I smiled into his skin at the euphoric sensations spreading over. Ji Yong’s heart was thumping hard as if in any moment his chest would break. Smiling in contentment, I pressed my ears tight listening carefully; laughing inwardly as it slowed down matching the rhythm of the song echoing gently in the darkness.
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You know it ain’t easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There are no words to describe it
In french or english
Cause diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
That these feelings won't go away
They've been knockin me sideways
They've been knockin me out, babe
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away
THE END
A/N : in the link to my journal there are OST I made to share. Thank You to everyone who had been with me, with this story. Thank you so much. This is the 1st fanfic I ever completed by myself and I am very proud of it. Also look out for another G-RI fic coming soon and SUJU one call Unfaithful [kyumin and yehwook] ENJOY!
http://whitefoxbuns.livejournal.com/33815.html