| Fan Fiction |
by whitefoxbuns
A smile traces its path along my face and I tried to blink away the sunlight streaming in from the slightly opened window. Why… it is blinding me… but somehow I can’t stop the smile from forming, neither can I halt the urge to turn and search for the comforting form that I longed.
“Ji?…”
Silence…nothing
Shifting to my right, fingers searching blindly only to be met by nothing but the cold, soften materials soothing back as if comforting my disappointment.
What did I expect? Did I really for once hope that he was still there? I smile silently…hopelessly and stupidly, I yearned for that intimacy. You know the kind where a guy serenades to you the moment you open your eyes. Or the kind that cuddles and makes you laugh while whispering sweet nothings in your ears. Or at least, what I had wanted was waking up and seeing him there, beside me, knowing that he is still with me could have reassured the attachment of my heart.
But he is not.
How ironic it is…that I smile. Really, I think I’m so numb that I can no longer feel what should be felt anymore.
Stretching onto my side, dangling my naked torso off the bed, I reach for the cellular object. Blinking colors signaling a text waiting to be read, I slide the thing open only to flush at what was displayed.
“You look like an angel when you sleep.
Couldn’t wake you…mienhe Seungriah.”
I release a sigh not knowing I was holding, feeling like everything I built up was tumbling down because I didn’t know how to choose between crying and laughing. I look like a mess. Strolling toward the restroom, I took one last look in the mirror. A reflection of a young boy who is hopelessly in love with his band leader reflected off his eyes…off my eyes. Fixing my hairs, biting my lips, I tried to erase any obvious traces of our last night love making. Sitting fully in the bath tub, I tried to wash away my swollen lips, his touch, my tears. His kisses, his scent I wish for them to fade. But…
The truth is…I didn’t want that. I wanted them to stay.
Wiping my tears away, I submerge myself entirely into the water. Releasing another sigh, I seek a sense of calmness by blowing bubbles in the water. My fingers waver back and forth over the lukewarm surface, the memories of last night replay slowly through my head.
*Flash back*
“Seungri…can you hold back tonight?”
Whatever senses in me I thought I had, were gone, chase away by him. I couldn’t mutter a single resistance.
Couldn’t I or…wouldn’t I…
In a moment of second, I blinked and that was when he took off.
As if to shut off any last thought I could blurt out, he leaned down. Close enough to feel his breath on my lips, to taste the alcohol. So close that I felt like there could be no room even for us to breathe. And then as reality struck, he shifted his gaze into my eyes, and made to move away…
…I …there was something that urged me on. So I leaned forward with all my might, meeting him halfway to settle what I had been wanting to give all along.
At first, his lips, bold yet endearingly timid returned my affection with every tug a string can pull on my heart. So slow and soft we shared a breath and passionately it turned to a kiss that I smiled and lips that he sucked.
My eyes closed tight in concentration, afraid that if opened this dream might shatter and I wouldn’t know what to do. With every pulls and bites Ji Yong did to my lips, my conscience was slipping away into nothing but sweet butterfly kisses and touch.
As soon as our lusty drives delved us into each others’ unknowns, suffocation and air became a must, along with the idea of bare skin meeting skin, giving each other what is desire.
Ji Yong reluctantly pulled away, emitting a soft yet harsh breath, flushing the sweaty skin below my ears. I drew away, swallowing, feeling as if my whole body was suddenly on fire, and the beating of my heart only setting a rhythm for our dance.
Keeping me close, Ji Yong’s form tuck onto me like a perfect puzzle, our skin prickles the moment we breathe, the moment we kiss, the moment we touch.
I was aware of the state we’re in. I’m fully dress but we were both hot and needy, both wanting to give and take. I was aware of his hands pressing my waist, caressing my sensitive skin with his warm fingers.
“You must be really drunk.” I breathe.
“Not even tipsy.” He whispered.
I lifted my head, searching for his eyes, only to be caught in another kiss, as Ji Yong forcefully prying my shirt up and away. I didn’t urge for him to stop. I didn’t want him to stop, not when I allowed the shirt to be pulled off, not when I lifted my hips for easier access, and not when my hands were on his back pulling him closer, crushing our heated skins together.
We kept going in rounds and rounds repeating the steps of our kiss, and at last we came up for air. But Ji Yong didn’t want to stop; he gently nibbled the skin on my neck and shoulder, kisses settled here and there. My heart felt like it was about to explode from the sensitivity that only he could see. Ji Yong was everywhere, up and down, cheeks to ear lobes, chin to chest.
Then he kissed me again.
We had done this before, but the feeling each time was too different, too pure and special for me to miss. Pulling him on top of me, running my hands down his sculpted back, down to his tanned waist and up, Ji Yong was perfectly fit the entire way stopping at his pant line, which was the only thing I could see to.
Ji Yong began to unbutton his pant, even when we suddenly caught each other gaze, even when my heart was pounding so loud, that I’m sure he could’ve heard it, and even when our nerves were on fire.
Once that was off, I felt even more naked as our skin rubbed against every single inch on each others’ bodies. All I could do was to lie back and let Ji Yong has his way. Moving his lips along my jaw lines, kissing my collarbones, biting the flesh just below my belly button and I suppressed a moan which only to please him even more. He took it as an invitation to continue, allowing the wandering hands to caress the inside of my thighs, lifting them up, running harmless lines of scratch down the rosen flesh.
And as he made his way down, the feeling of his hair brushing my skin drove me insane. But to Ji Yong complete ignorance, he continues to assault my thighs while rubbing the length of my waist at the same time.
*YAOI WARNING START*
He came back up once again, to kiss me ever so lightly. Fumbling with his own pant down himself and off the bed, Ji Yong took the initiative to urge my legs around his waist. Touching and stroking me in places only he claims, Ji Yong was making it hard for me to keep myself together as he uncovered a hot spot. One moment grabbing my cheeks and mashing our lips together and the next placing a soft delicate kiss that was ever so mysterious, so gentle.
It was too much as I broke off from my kissing trail to whisper softly into his ears what I desire.
“I want you inside me.”
It was all I could do and truthful of my utmost plead.
I pulled him down for a kiss and with no obligation, Ji Yong returned more fiercely than before.
“I’ll go slow.”
As if to reassure me, he whispered in harsh breath, sweat tricking down his face, outlining the perfect cheek bones. Ji Yong looked like he was trying to hold back, hair plastered onto his forehead, making my heart throb at the handsome man hovering above me.
Once knowing what was coming, I gasped when coming into contact with his hardness. Clawing at whatever in my ways, his skin, the sheet, and moaning into his shoulder, I jumped at the feeling of Ji Yong self, entering without any preparation. The feeling was bitter and painful yet passionately pleasurable. Pinning me down with a soft kiss, while I’m moaning at his touch, his lips feverously savior my own. The kiss contradicted his hard thrust into me, forcing a deep moan being delivered from my lips into his. I gasped as he thrust into me, this time softer blending the pain and the pleasure into a mixture that was hard for me to tell apart. I grasped his back, the back of his neck, rubbing him just because of the need to be close to him, to urge him on. Arching my back to bring me closer to my desire, I cling onto Ji Yong with my dear life, wishing for it to never end, for it to leave me with nothing but burned ashes.
He was holding me close, thrusting into me with a caressing pace, our lips only met for a moment then it was his harsh breathing and my moaning that turned to melody deep into the night.
We continue, round after the round of love making, as I started to feel much more comfortable and was able to fully give and take the pleasure. Ji Yong was so close to bliss, his breath coming out in short gasps while I tried to hold myself as best as I could, sensing the end I screamed out his name.
He could hear it. I could hear it. We could hear it, but it was so far away, as Ji Yong tensed up, gaining momentum to push us off and over the edge together. I felt the warmth being spread inside me as my eyes seeing vision that were out of dimension. Once I collected my conscience, I embraced the collapse form above me, rubbing soothing circles onto the radiating flesh. Both of us, one on top of another, panting, hugging, loving but not a word was uttered through the aftermath.
*YAOI WARNING END*
As my vision began to fade, and my thoughtless dream began to form, sleep lulls my tiring body along with my heart, which yearns to stay longer with him. I felt Ji Yong shifted closer to my side, pulling the dampened blanket on top of our bodies and nestled deeper into the crook of my neck. I whispered …
“Goodnight Ji Yong…”