| Fan Fiction |
by whitefoxbuns
“Seungriah, wakeup, kahjah!!”
A hand snuck its way up my shoulder shaking with a gripping force, hard enough to stir my lax body but not enough to flutter my sleepy lids.
“Hey…did you forget we have practice today?” Tae Yang’s soft voice reminding me of the early plan we make every weekdays in the wee hours.
“No…we don’t have any~~ ….sleep hyung…” I pulled him down, whose head stuck below my arm, but not willing to doze.
“Daesungie!!!” I heard he call ‘the name’ that comes bouncing in, heading toward the one and only me. ‘Why is he up so early?’
I whined when they both pulled the comforter off and yanked my pillow. Daesung imitates my whines in a mocking way. I could envision his pouting lips underneath my closing eyes. Tae Yang began to tickles my side. His cold fingers awaken little bumps on my skins and giggles that I couldn’t suppress.
“no!nonono!!...ok ok..” I pushed the heavy forms off my back, rubbing my eyes and smoothing the little throb that thumps softly off the pores of my dark circles. Grumpily, staring at the little ‘sunshine faces’ beaming down at me, I yawned.
“Guys common, get ready! Maknae you are slowing everyone.” The one and only leader standing outside the wooden frame, dressed in the black beanie, and an overly extra big sweater. Our eyes caught, seeing him, my eyes wished to ignore the person I love, I stood up without a sound heading toward the restroom.
From the inside, door closed abruptly with a bang, I turned on the faucet, drowning away the talking between Tae Yang and him. I have an idea what Tae Yang was saying but nothing important seems to be coming out from him. Ji Yong is a person who likes to keep things to himself. Occasionally, he would never show a hint of disregard or displeased but one can sense it from his expression. People tend not to approach him much because of his egoistic aura. Sometimes it got the best of him.
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“One. two. One two three..pa..pa.pa pow.”
“Ok!!” “Ok!! Stop Seungri you need to hit it harder!” Gesturing what he meant, the choreographer demonstrate the steps to Lies, the song still blasting in the back but no one is dancing except him.
“Whatsup with you? Where’s your head at?” I could sense the discomfort and bothered in his voice. He urged everyone to get back in the position that meant me as well. I was about to, when TOP hyung, pat me lightly on the head.
“Go get some water” he said with a smile.
I’m tired. Really, I am. Not physically but mentally. The stress kept weighing down my body, heaving my breath and knotting my heart. Ji Yong and I haven’t exchange a single look or a word the entire day. I wonder if he was angry or trying to make me feel bad for leaving the party the other night. The fact that I wake up next morning without the original drunken heat, tells me that it was time for a sober and reality check up.
From the outside my ears caught something he said.
“Hyung, how about we stop here. It’s late already, and we have schedules tomorrow. How about it hyung?” Ji Yong suggested his favors to our choreographer.
A pause and all we could hear is the musky, heavy breathing of the dancers dancing along with the song.
“….ok…wrap it up. But I want everyone to be focus next time, got it?” he said giving me a glare across the room.
I shouldn’t have felt this, but at that moment, I was thankful to leave.
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On the way to the apartment, the air deflated after we left practice. It was quiet in the van that fit enough for six or so. Sitting by myself, I turned around to sneak a look at everyone. Tae Yang hyung is snoring softly with his head rested on the crook of Ji Yong’s shoulder. All the hyungs were tucked up cozily against the foggy window. Top hyung, pushed up the side of the window with his cute mumbles and a little scratch, was yawning in his sleep. Ji Yong though wasn’t dozy; he looks comfortable enough that he could melt against the foggy window, staring at the street and its passing scenes, behind the water mark drawings he made, occasionally, resting his warm forehead on the freezing glassy surface. We will soon reach Christmas time. Inside, I watched the dim hues of red, green and yellow tinted the dim van, pulling anyone in silence into a deep slumber. I watched the lights danced on his skins, glowing and spreading.
Daesung is humming now. His low tone mimics the sound coming through his headphone. Some American song…‘hmm’ I smile then retreat my gaze.
For a moment I thought everything is just as peaceful and as dead as I like it to be. My fingers sense and newborn trebles as my mobile signals a change. ‘A text?’ I guessed.
From: Ji Yong [10:37 PM]
To: Maknae [10:37 PM]
“My shoulder ache, will you make YB move? -_- ”
I peaked back at the message owner. For the first time, our eyes met. He gave me a tired yet sweet smile. Digits fingering the neon tap, waiting for a silent answer. I sighed, staring sleepily at my phone, trying hard to think up a conversation with him.
From: Maknae [10:39 PM]
To: Ji Yong [10:39 PM]
“His head is heavy :) and he is tired.”
From the back, my ears picked up his soft chuckle, surrounding with soft clicks. I feel my heart began to warm between the minutes waiting for his reply.
From: Ji Yong [10:41 PM]
To: Maknae [10:41 PM]
“I won’t ache as much if it was you here.”
A smile tug at my lips. I won’t be as tired if I was there too, but…my heart probably would ache ten times more also. Closing my lids to process his words, I thought that it will probably be captured and tucked away into my memory for keeper sake.
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“Hyung…can we order pizza?” Daesung questioned with his droopy eye lids, words escaping barely through his yawn.
Top hyung…stretching his feline form, messed Daesung hair into a wild nest as much as it already was; he answered in a way that resembles Daesung.
“Noh…Dae….sungi…pizza..*yawn*… tomorrow morning k?” then he dragged Daesung along into their bedroom. A moment later snoring sounds synchronizing into the kitchen room.
No one know when did Tae Yang hyung disappeared. Manager hyung thought it was cool to take my room tonight, so I am left, room less, cold toes curling on the kitchen floor, sulking around.
Then…a hand pulled me…Ji Yong whispered slowly while pulling both our bodies to his room. Mumbling groggily, fingers gripping my sleeves, he said.
“I…need more warmth in my room…the heater broke I think. Sleep with me tonight…”
It wasn’t a question; neither was it a command, just simply a suggestion with a shy plea.
I dropped onto his bed. The mattress squeaks from my weigh. Our forms making strange shadows fluttering inside the room lit with only the moonlight.
“Do you have a—” he cut my sentence with what I was asking for but not what I had imagined. A t-shirt I had asked for, with his size, overly large it was thrown onto to me, though …old, soft and fainting with his scent.
He undressed, took off his shirt, his watch, his pants and his socks. I watched quietly. From where he was standing, his whole skins glow so beautifully outshining the moon with her jealousy. I slowly lift off my shirt. Like him, I am bathing in the same light, my skin flushed when the fabric brushed on the pores arousing the hairs at my nape to wake.
I released a hearty sigh as soon as the huge t-shirt drape over my torso. I look up and suddenly met with his pair of eyes staring at me. He was kneeling now in front of me, face to face, very close, enough for me to breathe him in.
My eyes shifting from back and forth from his eyes to his lips, that seems to be cutting the distance between us. With a teasingly pace he makes way to lean in….then he stops, with those daring eyes darting back to mine.
“I miss you.”
I draw back only a slight bit, closing my eyes when his affectionate fingers traced its path along the corner of my eyes, soothing the nerves, rubbing the dark rosy skin.
He let his arm drop by my side, onto my hand. With a squeeze, he then stood up and crawled to his side of the bed. Pulling up the blanket, he muttered out a few words to me about sleep then giving up everything to the silence of the room.
I sat there for a while, fingers hanged onto the sheets, letting everything soaked in. I turned to observe his figure in the dark. Snuggling under the blanket, with one last look at him, I turned away. I wish I can fall out of love, because no matter what he does I can’t seem to loosen the grip on him. It feels better when I’m alone.