Fan Fiction |
by sileNt_rOse
Suzz forced herself to look at the papers again. Yes, she was supposed to perform the “Moonlight Sonata” piece, but as Suzz ran through the first paper, she found that the notes are different. Something clicked in her mind. That’s right, she thought, I’d changed the song yesterday night. At the last minute, Suzz decided that she couldn’t play the piece. She lacked the emotions to play the hauntingly beautiful piece, failing utterly to bring out the true meaning of it. It was as if her heart doesn’t ‘belong’ to this song, rather, it will be forever ‘bind’ to a song, composed in a music room, by a certain person. Suzz’s heart fluttered a little at the thought of Jay. At the corners of her eye, she could barely make out the faint outlines of his figure sitting at the front row. He was wearing a long, black tuxedo suit, his hair combed neatly with a few strands of gelled hair shading his eyes stylishly. Suzz could easily picture his heartbreakingly handsome features in her mind, the mesmerizing depth of his eyes, the rare-yet-utterly-beautiful smile of his, and the way his face lit up when he saw her. All this remained imprinted in her mind, captured and kept preciously in her memory. Yet, yet… Suzz allowed herself to indulge in the whisperings that seemed to fill her thoughts with fear. Shaking herself mentally, Suzz concentrated on the papers in front of her. She lifted her hands and placed them on top of the keyboard. The keys felt cool under her touch.
She felt the tense anticipation in the air, yet she couldn’t will herself to play. She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes, picturing his fine features again, replaying his laughter over and over in her mind. Her fingers lightly pressed a key, and the sound magnified throughout the silent hall, echoing like a ripple in a calm lake, spreading until it was almost deafening. Suzz snapped open her eyes, and heaved. She glanced at the page carefully and as soft and gentle as a night breeze, music began to fill the hall.
~*
Jay let himself drown in the soothing pleasantness of the music, his fingers still clutching the velvet box tightly. Slowly, he let go of it and at the same time, let go of the breath he had been holding since then. Suddenly, upon realizing something, he frowned slightly. With his eyes still closed, he leaned forward. The song… this isn’t some classical music. He frowned even heavier, stunned by the familiarity of the piece Suzz was playing. And then it hit him. Their song… she was playing THEIR song. Jay gasped softly. Apparently, the other listeners noticed it as well. A murmur spread throughout the hall. But no one stopped Suzz. The murmuring and whisperings died down eventually. Silence fall again, yet this time, it was different from the last. Instead of anticipation, the atmosphere seemed… Jay bit his lips, trying to find the appropriate word for that feeling. Lighter, he thought to himself. It was as though the audience were just enjoying the music, and not minding whether it is a classical piece or not.
He opened his eyes, and glanced sideways at the people around him. Their eyes seemed to be permanently glued to the girl on the stage, playing the piano. Jay turned his attention towards her. He smiled unconsciously, remembering the first day he met her. The days that followed that meeting seemed to past very quickly; the hands in the clock moving at ultra-fast speed. Shivering slightly at the thought of the incident at the hospital, Jay reminded himself of the decision he made earlier. He will NOT be a coward, watching helplessly as Suzz slipped away from his grasp. She WILL have him with her till the end.
Jay focused on Suzz. She seemed relaxed. The song was astoundingly beautiful the way she played it. It was as if the song and her are one. He smiled, almost proud of Suzz. Suzz equaled him in many ways. Like the talent they have. As much as he hate to say, Suzz is much more talented than him, though even Suzz have to admit that they work better as a pair. Suzz’s lyrics, though not as good as his, as Jay is more experienced when it comes to that, reflected the exact feeling of the song he composed. It took time of course, but together they had produced many songs with thought-provoking lyrics. But none of them leave an impression on Jay as deep as their first song. It wasn’t actually a song; it doesn’t have any lyrics to it. Yet, he felt that all that is to say and tell was already in the piece itself. The music weaves a story of its own, leaving its listeners awed in the unusual way of storytelling. And that was exactly the reaction of the people around him.
Through that song, many memories, both good and bad, returned to him. He remembered the words Suzz had said that day; they had pierced right through his heart, and still is now, as he recalled them. “None of your business”… those words he will never forget. They had brought him unfamiliar pain and hurt, mingled with desolation and emptiness.
And yet, bad memories aside, Jay recalled the day when he was late for the session and found her sleeping peacefully on the piano. The serene image, complete with the almost-surreal surroundings of the soft afternoon sunlight and velvet-blue carpet, will forever be cherished in his heart.
Then, the part in the hospital. Jay shivered. He replayed those fateful words in his mind… “I might die”… and pictured the way Suzz look when she uttered them. She had almost seemed calm, though the note of desperation in her tone was obvious.
And of course, how could he ever be so stupid to think that by avoiding Suzz, he’ll prevent himself from grieving upon her departure from this world? Instead, he had suffered even more. Fortunately, they were back as normal again, after much explanation and promises that Jay had faithfully kept.
Jay smiled, returning back to the present after a quick ride in the time machine. Although they hadn’t known each other for long, they had been through a lot together. His smile ceased. He thought of the future that seemed so bleak and distant without Suzz there. Then he shook his head. Of course, Suzz’s going for an operation, he reminded himself. Convincing himself that Suzz is going to recover, Jay sank down into the comfortable cushions, drifting into a surreal dream, with him and Suzz watching the sunset at the horizon.
~*
Beads of perspiration formed on her forehead, but Suzz couldn’t wipe them. She was still playing the song with only a page left. Concentrate, concentrate, she chanted to herself. But it’s so hard, a voice whined in her. The black notes seemed to dance before her eyes, and her fingers were getting clammy and wet, making it slippery for her to play the notes properly. Her hands suddenly felt tired, but she willed herself to continue playing. A numbness from the lower part of her body seemed to be spreading upwards, leaving her feeling paralyzed. She swallowed the lump in her throat, wincing slightly as she found it painful to even move her jaw.
A sudden headache made her feel dizzy. She swayed slightly to the left. The telltale signs of a dull buzzing drowned all sounds, including the music she was playing. All she can hear was the buzzing, getting louder and louder at every passing second. A bead of sweat rolled down at the side of her cheeks. She was finding it hard to make her eyes stay open. Black spots swam before her. An overwhelming urge to just let go rushed through her. Despite of the buzzing in her ears, Suzz thought she heard whisperings. Soft and gentle whisperings. They seemed to be coaxing her to… Suzz strained her ears, trying to make out what those voices are saying. Let go, they whispered, let go and follow us.
I can’t, Suzz answered to no one in particular, and I need to finish this piece first. Besides, I want to see my parents. Then realizing what she had just thought, Suzz shook herself mentally. Come back Suzz, she told herself. Don’t go dreaming like this; it’s dangerous.
But as much as she wanted to, the whisperings in her head went louder. She suddenly realized that the buzzing had ceased, and in replacement of them, a pleasantly soothing music filled her mind. It sounded faraway, as though coming from above. Suzz felt tempted to follow the music and to find the person playing them. It was wonderful, the music. All her burdens seemed to be lifted completely, taken away by the power of this music. She felt free, free to go her own way, free to create her own music, free to breathe.
Suddenly, a tunnel opened up before her. The music seemed to be coming out from there, Suzz noted. Although it was dark, she could sensed that something rewarding is awaiting her beyond the darkness. The seemingly horrible blackness is just the last obstacle for her to overcome before she can reach the ultimate destination… a place where she will be free from the misery of life, where sufferings could neither touch nor harm her. This was what Suzz felt of that place, and it seemed too beautiful to resist.
At last, giving in to that temptation, Suzz stopped playing, whispered a soft “goodbye”, also to no one in particular, stood up, and began to walk towards the darkness that seemed almost inviting.
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Nope, this isn't the end yet. (Do I hear some relieved sighs around? ^_^) Decided to split the chapter. ^_^ And oh, by the way, what do you think of the BG? It's supposed to be a poster actually. Is it too hard to read the words? Kudos to Ayumi who's such a dearie for making me this poster without me requesting it!!! And you guys should know how busy Ayu is, since she's like, really talented with poster-making. ^_^ Thanks again, Ayu!!! ^_^
[Posted on 4/12/2002 5.36PM]