Fan Fiction |
by sileNt_rOse
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He halted before a door, and rested his hand on the metal doorknob. It felt cool under his touch. He closed his eyes, recalling the incidents as though it was just yesterday. Three years, it had been three long years. Through these years, he had experienced the ups and downs of life, and the sole thing that held him through was her love that still remained true in his heart, despite her absence in his life.
Suzz, he whispered softly. He reluctantly opened the door, expecting a change. After all, he had left school two years ago and had not been into this room since then. It was too painful for him to come back to this room where so much memories had been left unstained. To his surprise, the room remained intact with the instruments exactly where he had remembered three years ago. The piano remained at the corner; violin cases were stacked neatly against the wall. The silky white curtains were pulled together, whilst the velvety blue carpet muffled his footsteps as he walked towards the windows. The room was dim, and the air was still. Jay gently pulled the curtains open. A garden was revealed; he stood in awe as he took in the picturesque scene before him. Yellow daffodils were everywhere, and so were the roses. The purplish blue orchids complimented the white baby breaths’ perfectly. Trees grew beautifully at randomly chosen places, and below some of the shady ones there were benches. The delicate flowers swayed slightly as a breeze blew over them. Leaves rustled silently. Jay pushed open one of the windows. A gentle breeze greeted him. He breathed in the clean air, feeling refreshed and calmer than he had ever felt before.
So much has changed, he thought, glancing at the garden, including myself. After leaving school, he had taken up lessons from a well-known musician, learning to play classical music. He had also polished his skills in playing the violin and cello. By eighteen, he was being invited to play in all sorts of occasions: function, concerts, birthdays. Recently, because of his unique way of mixing classical and modern music in his self-composed songs, a recording company signed him up. Confident that Jay has the material of being a successful singer-composer, his manager suggested that Jay should have an album.
He had since then recomposed his songs, making them into more complete pieces, wrote lyrics to them and produced them. Short on inspirations and ideas, Jay decided to return to the music room. The room where so much had taken place, where fond memories remained untouched, preciously kept and cherished. He stared at something distant, a wistful smile upon his lips. In the silence of the evening air, he heard them. Laughter... soft yet melodious, a brief reminder of all that happened in the past. A breeze blew. The scent of the flowers below lingered in the air. Jay breathed them in, remembering her fragrant scent when he hugged her three years ago.
He turned, and glanced around the room. Memories of the past pervaded his thoughts. He riveted his attention on the gray piano. Ghostly images formed before him, and he saw once again the two of them sharing the piano seat, playing songs that Jay had composed. Another image erased the former one. They were sitting on the piano seat, and he was telling her about the History teacher’s reaction after finding a dead and rotting cockroach squashed underneath the weight of her encyclopedias. She had laughed, her eyes twinkling. Jay had laughed with her too, and together, the sounds of their laughter echoed throughout the music room. Recalling that scene, Jay smiled unconsciously. A sudden fleeting image to his right made him turned sharply. There, he saw, with his mind’s eye a gray picture of them hugging. Soft tears began to brim as he recalled the memories of yesteryear, repeating her every single word in his mind, remembering her sweet smile, her soft laughter, and the mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Clutching his chest in pain, he closed his eyes. The memories were too strong for him to handle; the images that he still remembers clearly hadn’t fade much, let alone forgotten. He thought he could overcome grief as time heals, but this trip down memory lane proved otherwise. Tears hadn’t stop spilling, and wounds remained unhealed, a painful reminder of what might have been.
I missed you so much, Jay thought silently, crossing the room towards the grand piano. He hesitated. The piano held many memories for him: happy, sad, hope, disappointment. Those feelings washed over him as he slipped his fingers underneath the lid and lifted it noiselessly. The keys had yellowed with age, he observed, and ran his fingers over them. A sudden, accidental press of one key sent ripples of echoes throughout the otherwise-silent room, and through the long, empty corridors. Jay froze, his breathing shallower, and listened, his eyes closed. He thought he heard music, and it sounded distinctly familiar. But when he opened his eyes, it stopped. Sighing softly, he sat onto the leather seat, still intact in spite of a not-so-visible tear at the side. He glanced at the keys, a thoughtful look on his face. Ghostly images of the past came back to him abruptly. Turning to his right, he could picture her concentrating figure, hands poised over the keyboard, her head slightly tilted as if listening carefully. It was so real, so vivid that Jay stretched his hand out, trying to reach her. The image evaporated as soon as his fingers nearly touched her face, leaving him grasping only air. The familiar bitterness overwhelmed him as he retreated his outstretched fingers.
After her leaving of this world, Jay remembered experiencing the sleepless nights that followed. But instead of horrifying nightmares, he dreamt of her smiling and waving to him as she ascended the stairs to a world Jay could not follow. In his dreams, she was dressed in the purest of white, so white that the clouds and mists surrounding her seemed dark in comparison. Her gown flowed freely, her hair catching the soft breeze now and then. On her lips, a sad yet sweet smile was visibly seen, though they were standing quite a distance apart. They gazed at each other; Jay remembered the haunting expression in her eyes. No words were exchanged between the two, but he understood that she was saying goodbye. “Goodbye,” he had whispered. Suzz smiled, giving a nod, and turned, walking further and further away from him into the immortal world above, to take her place among the stars. When the light that seemed to radiate within her faded as she walked away, and when darkness prevailed, that was when the tears began to fall in remembrance of a girl he had loved so much.
Jay sniffed softly, mentally scolding himself for being so sentimental and emotional. But grieving is a part of death, and he understood it. Her absence in his life was felt tremendously, and it left a void in his heart. That was why he gave himself time to rest, and think, and grieve after her departure. It was so hard to get up and greet the sun again, knowing that Suzz will no longer breathe the fresh air, nor hear the birds chirp. But he knew that Suzz would not approved of him being sad all the time, and made an effort to reach out to others, constantly reminding himself that Suzz is up there, always looking down upon him, watching him, and praying for him.
Stirring, he placed his hands on the keyboard. His mind flashed back to the time when she was in his arms, the life in her slipping away from his grasp.
“We WILL watch the sunset together… remember me, and I’ll be there…”
Closing his eyes, he began to play the rusty, old piano. Although its tune was somewhat blunt, Jay coaxed it to life. Memories began to rush back in the speed of light, and every single event in their short encounter chronologically flashed before him. The first day of school… the awkward conversations… the hurtful words she had uttered… the unexpected kiss… the look on her face as those fateful words “I might die” escaped her… the hug… the big day… the passionate kiss they shared… and then, her last words, “I love you.”
At least he had heard her said them right from her lips. At least she died with the knowledge that he loved her. The overwhelming feelings were so strong that he stopped abruptly; the echoes of the music died down quickly. Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself, and then proceeded to play another song, THEIR song. Jay glanced at the keys in hesitation. After all, he hadn’t played that song for more than two years, afraid that he might burst in tears when he heard it. Ironically, he had chosen that song for his album, rewriting and rearranging the notes, but never playing the real piece with the exact notes. He had chosen a title for that song, a title that seemed to sum up the feelings of the song perfectly. “Silence”. Yes, it would be perfect. Suzz will love it, he was sure. Mustering his courage, and with Suzz’s vivid image in his mind, he began the song. The song brought back even more memories, but Jay continued playing without once stopping. With his eyes closed, he pictured the both of them somewhere on top of a high cliff. The sound of waves lapping against the stones down below was faintly heard. Faraway, the seagulls returned to their nest after a long day work. She was leaning against him, her head resting upon his broad shoulders. Above the blue, calm waters a great, big ball of fire hung in the orange-red sky. As they watched, the sun sunk, its golden light reflected in the sea’s mirror-like waters. It dipped gently into the sea. The world now darkened; pink and purple clouds were seen at the horizon. The first of the stars appeared, twinkling brightly against the dark, velvet sky. Within seconds, the last of the rays vanished behind the sea, and a pleasant peacefulness settled behind.
A breeze blew, and it awoken Jay from the surreal dream. A sudden chill ran down his spine. He stopped playing. The feeling of being watched washed over him, and it struck him as oddly familiar. The eyes may be staring at him, but it felt soft, like an innocent little girl watching an artist paint. He inhaled sharply, not daring to turn behind. But curiosity eventually gotten over him, and mustering his courage, he turned slowly. His gaze rested upon the figure standing at the door. He recognized her at the first glance, and stood up, dumbstruck. She walked towards him, a critical look in her eyes, yet Jay saw a hint of a faint twinkle in them. He smiled, and crossed to greet her. Standing some distance away, they both halted. “You wrote that song?” she asked, smiling. Returning her smile, Jay took a step forward. He KNEW she was going to say that before she even opened her mouth. A feeling of warmth mounted in him as their eyes met, and time seemed to stop ticking. They just stood there, gazing at each other. Jay was afraid to move, afraid that this might be nothing but an illusion. Finally, she broke the silence and closed up the distance between them. “I’ve been waiting for you,” she whispered softly. Jay looked into those eyes of hers that haunted him in his dreams every night, and felt a drop of tear rolled down the side of his face. How could he possibly live without her? The future looked meaningless without her by his side, bleak and dark without her laughter and smile. He moved forward to hug her. “I missed you so much, Suzz, so much,” he said, his voice raw with emotion.
They remained in this position for a few seconds. She felt so light in his arms. Suddenly, she disappeared, completely vanished into the thin air. Jay pulled back, startled. Upon realizing that it was only his imagination, he crumbled to the floor. Immense disappointment and pain washed over him. “Suzz,” he said softly, his voice wavering. “I miss you… I miss you so much.” And then he buried his face in his hands, feeling tears cascading down his cheeks.
At a dark corner, she watched him carefully, surveying his every move. Her own eyes began to brim with tears, but she couldn’t cry. They aren’t supposed to cry; they sing. “Jay,” she whispered, using her every bit of strength to withhold herself from rushing over to his side. The pain of looking from beyond at someone so loved yet she was unable to comfort him was overwhelming. “You have no idea how much I missed you too…” She turned away, and disappeared.
Jay looked up, tears blinding him for a moment. He thought he heard voices, soft whisperings that seemed to say something. Glancing around, he found himself alone in the room. Alone… Like he have always been in his whole life…
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“It’s my first day in this school.”
“I’m Jay. You?”
“Suzz.”
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“Why did you migrate?”
“Actually, it’s none of your business to interfere with my life anyway.”
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“Jay, I’ve got a cancerous tumor in my heart. The doctor said I might… die.”
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“Everyone who I cared for leaves me to survive in this world, alone. My Dad, my Mom… and now you.”
“I won’t leave you alone. I’ll always be with you, whenever you need me. I’ll be there, even when you won’t be able to see me.”
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“What’s the use of going for operation after operation when you know that you’ll die, eventually? I don’t want to go through this anymore; it’s torturing me.”
“Think about ME. What will happen to me if you just go like that? I’ll probably DIE too, of guilt. No matter how slim the chance is, I want you to take it. Stay here with me a little longer, okay?”
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“I’ve came back to say goodbye, Jay. Because I’ve got to go.”
“You’ve got to go? Go where?”
“I’ve almost reach it, but He told me to come back to say my good-byes. That’s why I’m here. To say goodbye before I leave.”
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“We’ve got so many things to do together… in the future. We’re going to get famous together, remember? But no… you have to go first. And I’ll be alone.”
“Please Jay. You won’t be alone. I’m always here, in your memory. All you have to do is to remember… remember me, and I’ll be there.”
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“I love you, Suzz.”
“I love you too, Jay. Forever.”
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========================== The End ==========================
[Posted on 10/12/2002 4.38PM]