| Fan Fiction |
by Tan Xue Lei
SiWon stops halfway in mid-air, the chord that is attached to his back snaps and he falls to the ground with HeeChul in his arms shrieking.
SiWon: Why did you stop it there?!
XueLei: Because-
HeeChul: Yah! You just broke my poor SiWonnie's back!
XueLei: HeeChul, shut up for a minute. I'm letting you guys have a day off today since it's almost Valentines Day and all. We all know what you guys are up to on this day.
SiWon and HeeChul exchanges confused expressions.
XueLei: Don't act dumb with me, tomorrow you lot will be too aroused to even act in this fic!
SiWon & HeeChul: We were acting?
She slaps herself on the forehead as YunHo and JaeJoong runs into the scene.
YunHo: Yah! When can I rape Jae again?!
JaeJoong's eyes widens at YunHo's excited expression before backing away a bit.
XueLei: Not in the fic you aren't! I'm too tired to even think of smut!
YunHo: B-But-
JaeJoong produces a bag of lemon sherbets out of nowhere and shoves it towards her.
XueLei: No! I'm completely off lemon sherbets!
YunHo shoves a bag full of pocky sticks towards her.
XueLei: No! Not even that!
YunHo: B-But, without YunJae smut this will no longer be Yaoi High! It loses all purpose Miss Author-ah!
She looks away and thinks to herself, her eyes trying their best to look away from the bag filled with many flavours of pocky.
YooChun then enters the scene with JunSu closely by his side.
YooChun: Write smut again and I'll strip for you.
She perks up at the very offer before spinning around quickly and jumps in excitement.
XueLei: Really?!
JunSu: You can't just strip for her! You said that your body belonged to me only and I was the only one allowed to view it!
YooChun rolls his eyes in annoyance.
YooChun: Fine! I'll give you two a special “Chun Strip Tease”
JaeJoong: Isn't she under-
She slaps JaeJoong across the head, knocking him out momentarily.
XueLei: Shut up Jae, since when did you know my age? ^^
YunHo runs over to Jae in time before his frail body meets the floor.
YunHo: YAH! What kind of a caring author are you?!
XueLei: Do I look like one?
Henry: Hey, when are we coming back?
Every turns around to see Henry walk into the set with giving the sleeping RyeoWook a piggy back.
XueLei: I don't know! Why are you here?!
RyeoWook's eyes groggily opens, his voice weak and croaky from the lack of liquid in his body.
RyeoWook: Where am I?
XueLei: Oh God. Now you're going to-
Everyone hears a distant fan girl squeal with delight.
Henry: You should rest more Wookie.
Henry leans his head back a bit, just enough to kiss RyeoWook lightly on the lips. The same fan girl's squeal could be heard again before a loud thump.
XueLei: Oh great, now you killed Sennie.
She runs off into the far distance, leaving the characters alone and confused.
SiWon: So what do we do now?
HeeChul: She did say we can have a day off for Valentines...
JunSu: I guess I'll experience that “Chun Strip Tease” all to my greedy little self then.
YunHo: Wait! Jae's not even awake yet! JAE!
YunHo shakes JaeJoong in his arms like a frantic man for his lover would. A minute passed, JaeJoong would still not awake, and so YunHo thought of what a fairy tale prince would do, kiss the maiden.
He leans in, close to JaeJoong, his head, nearing closer and closer. His lips press perfectly onto JaeJoong's, and at that very moment, JaeJoong awakes just like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty did. Only with a twist.
He stares deeply into YunHo's eyes for a while, getting lost in them before he blinks back into reality, his face scrunches up as he realises the position that he is in.
JaeJoong: WHAT THE FUCK? GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT!
JaeJoong pushes YunHo away from, causing him to fall onto the dusty floor.
YunHo: Oh Jae...Well, since our author is kind enough to give us the day off, why don't we go somewhere secluded?
JaeJoong: SAY WHAT?!
Henry: Hey, didn't you say to Mr. Ogata that you would be taking Jae out for a trip for a week?
YunHos's grin widens on his face as all colour drains from JaeJoong.
JaeJoong: Fuck off.
YunHo ignores the comment and swoops down to pick JaeJoong up bridal style before running off into the far distance, leaving the others alone.
JunSu: Looks like they're gone, what are we going to do Chun?
YooChun rubs his stubble in thought before his eyebrows perked up, an idea in mind.
YooChun: We're going somewhere special for that special strip tease of mines.
YooChun grabs JunSu's hand before taking off at lightning speed.
RyeoWook: Henry why are we here?
Henry laughs.
Henry: Never mind about that, just sleep my Wookie.
RyeoWook shrugs before his eyes closes shut again, falling into another deep slumber, dreaming about him and Henry in his own fantasy world. Henry begins to walk slowing back into the dense forest, humming “Grandfather's Clock”.
HeeChul looks at SiWon while SiWon looks back absent mindedly at HeeChul.
HeeChul: What about us?
SiWon shrugs.
SiWon: Let's hit the nearby motel.
Meanwhile, back at Yaoi High...
EunHyuk: ANNYEONG! WELCOME TO YAOI HIGH'S FIRST INTERVIEW! VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL! YAY!
DongHae: You are currently listening to DongHae.
EunHyuk: AND HYUK HYUK!
DongHae: EunHyuk...did you eat bananas again?
EunHyuk: Of course not! Heeeee~
DongHae: Erm, okay. Moving on! Today's topic is about the readers questions!
EunHyuk: But...we haven't exactly received direct questions for this special!
DongHae: (mumbles) Stupid author...
XueLei: (distant voice) Eh? Say what? Do you want to get bitten?!
DongHae: . . . I take that back.
EunHyuk: Author-shii! Author-shii! Why don't you join this interview?!
XueLei: I'm coming!
She jumps into the school, finding herself surrounded by human boys all seated in a circle. She walks over to the sleeping Mr. Ogata's seat, pushing him off before taking his place.
XueLei: What is this? Shouldn't you guys be out looking for girls?! I gave you guys the day off remember!
DongHae: But we don't have enough money to go to Seoul to look for some...
XueLei: Why not the girls here in Mirotic Village?
EunHyuk: They're all ugly! UGLY I TELL YOU! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT AUTHOR-SHII!
She sits in her seat in thought.
XueLei: Fine, I'll do something about it then...
EunHyuk: YAY!
XueLei: And it involves a ball, a GRAND ball.
DongHae: Anyway, back to what we originally planned on doing. We have some questions that we guess the fans of this fic are dying to ask you XueLei-shii.
XueLei: Yes, carry on.
DongHae: What is JaeJoong?
XueLei: . . . I cannot tell, it would ruin the whole story!
EunHyuk: Do even know what he is yourself?!
XueLei: . . . Of . . . course I do! I am the author HAH!
Everyone exchanges unsure and suspicious looks.
HongKi: XueLei-shii...when can my girl-
XueLei: SHUT UP HONGKI! YOU'RE GIVING AWAY THE PLOT ALREADY!
SungMin: WOMAN! YOU BETTER LET ME END UP WITH YUNHO OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!
XueLei: SungMin, this is a YunJae fic, it can't be a SungHo or YunMin or whatever fic! Your pairing with YunHo isn't even popular!
SungMin: Well you can always start the trend!
DongHae: So XueLei-shii, is JaeJoong vampire? Werewolf? God? Angel? Or mixed?
XueLei: I'm not telling!
EunHyuk: When is ChangMin going to end up with Keita again? What are you going to do with Kim HyeWoo if the pair get back together again?!
XueLei: Can you guys STOP asking me questions about the plots I have in plan for this fic?!
EunHyuk: Fine, but can you turn JunSu back to human? I really hate his vampire complex...
XueLei: No. You know, I have something in store for both you and DongHae.
DongHae: You do?
EunHyuk: TELL US! WE WON'T TELL!
XueLei: You'll find out...
DongHae: So, when are the little dongsaengs coming?
XueLei: What?
DongHae: You know, the 5 new soaring shining stars of Korea!
XueLei: . . .
DongHae: SHINee!
XueLei: OH! Yes...they're coming later, a lot later, to be honest I don't know what kind of creatures they are in the fic, it's still undecided...
DongHae: What creatures do you have in mind for them?
XueLei: Not telling.
EunHyuk: Stop being so secretive gah! And who were those 5 wolves?! Were they SHINee?!
XueLei: I cannot tell, you should know who they are.
EunHyuk: We don't...
XueLei: But you've seen them on the sets!
EunHyuk: OH! NOW I REMEMBER! IT'S- MMPH!
XueLei runs over just in time to cover EunHyuk's mouth.
The door suddenly blows open, a gust of cold air blasts into the room, a figure, cloaked in white steps into the room.
XueLei: Oh it's you...DON'T APPEAR! GO HOME! WE'RE NOT READY FOR YOU YET!
The figure turns to face her for a moment before stepping back and disappearing.
JaeJin: Who was that?
XueLei: None of your business!
HanGeng: XueLei-ah, I heard that SiWon has something planned for me soon, is this true?!
XueLei: Err....
HanGeng: Tell me! Oh why did you have to pair me with him and that red haired guy! WHY?!
She backs away slowly before she runs away from the scene.
DongHae: AUTHOR-SHII!
EunHyuk: You know, it feels awfully weird here...I think someone hasn't spoken yet...
Everyone's eyes lands on ChangMin whose just staring into space.
Everyone: ChangMin?
ChangMin: Heh? Huh? What?!
EunHyuk: Why aren't you talking?
ChangMin: Y-Yah! KyuHyun isn't talking either!
ChangMin points at the guy at the back, texting happily away to his beloved.
JaeJin: Oh, he has an excuse unlike someone!
HongKi: SHIT! I forgot to request XueLei-shii to cancel the JongKi pairing! I so do not want that bastard stealing my precious DSLR everyday and use me as some kind of sex tool!
HongKi runs out of classroom, following the direction XueLei went.
HanGeng begins to sniffle.
HanGeng: I want to go back to China! I hate it here! Everyone's so gay!
JaeJin: Excuse me?
HanGeng: Why am I part of a threesome?! WHY?!
KyuHyun: Rumour has it that XueLei does not plan on writing threesome smut, so you should be fine.
Everyone turns to see KyuHyun multitasking – speaking while texting.
KyuHyun: ZhouMi said so.
JaeJin: See! You're safe!
HanGeng: I hope so...
EunHyuk: UWAH! I want some hot girls now! I think I'm going insane!
DongHae: You think you're going insane?! Think about me! I have to practically be with you 24/7 here!
EunHyuk: 24/7?! Yeah right!
DongHae: Psht, whose the one that's sleepover crazy?!
EunHyuk: . . . SHUT UP DONGHAE! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSE TO TELL ANYONE!
EunHyuk leaps onto DongHae, attempting to bash the living daylights out of him. The two struggle as they both fall off the chairs and onto the floor with DongHae on top of EunHyuk, luckily for the two, DongHae stopped himself in time before his lips met EunHyuk's.
The two remain frozen on the floor as their widened eyes stare into each others as if hypnotised.
JaeJin: Er...
SungMin: Leave them be, I'm going home.
SungMin begins to get out of his seat only to get stopped by JaeJin.
JaeJin: What about that Mr. Ogata?!
SungMin: JaeJin, we're not in character role any more, Mr. Ogata isn't a teacher right now!
SungMin pushes JaeJin away and proudly walks over to the door, opening it he takes one step at, before the second step he feels a board rubber hit the back of his head.
Ryuichi: SINCE WHEN DID ANYONE SAY THAT CLASS WAS OVER?!
SungMin: XueLei-shii-
Ryuichi: I DID NOT HEAR SUCH BLASPHOMY!
SungMin: That's because you were asleep.
Ryuichi: Don't back chat me mister! Now get back to your seat!
As Ryuichi watches SungMin storm back to his seat, giving a glare to the giggling JaeJin, passing the two frozen statues on the floor, Ryuichi happens to take an interest in the two frozen statues.
Ryuichi: OH MY GAWD! Another example of love! You see the love and passion in their eyes?! Now that's inspiration for a love song!
Everyone rolls their eyes, annoyed that they didn't leave the class sooner.
________________________________________________________________________________________
Happy Valentines Day!
Happy Singles Awareness Day!
Well, it's currently 00:21 here in the UK, 14th February!
I'll be spending the entire day dedicating my time on typing 2 or 3 more Valentine Day special chapters! They're pretty much extras :]
Don't worry, the next few chapters won't be structured like this, this was merely a starter hehe :P
Hope you guys enjoy and have an awesome day <3