| Fan Fiction |
by Tan Xue Lei
@GD&kpoplover
JongKi moments should come...soon..? haha;;
You will you will :)
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[ Kim JaeJoong P.O.V. ]
“You’re going out with him?” World scoffed as he jabbed a thumb in YunHo’s direction, “For real? Seriously?”
I nodded my head as I downed the cup of coffee, focusing my eyes on the dark brown substance too afraid to take a look at the other’s shocked expressions right now.
“I can’t believe it.” He flopped back against his seat.
We remained silent. I continued pretending to take a long drink of the coffee by closing my lips against the wet rim of the ceramic cup as the hot liquid touched against my upper lip. Thankfully the cup was extra large, it covered my nervous eyes from my gang members.
I had to tell them the truth, they were bound to find out sooner or later.
Earlier when I met them back at the store YunHo happened to come back to me not long after. World became curious and I suggested to go for a cup of coffee. He sat me and the rest down after we got our drinks, well apart from YunHo. Oh and did I mention that they brought along Hero and YoungRi? Yeah, those three are at the counter right now still picking their drinks, apparently it was YoungRi’s first time in a coffee place and YunHo had a hard time deciding what drink he wants.
“At least Hero looks a lot better.” CheonWoo commented, “He has a bit of colour in him now.”
True that. I couldn’t believe it when Hero and YoungRi popped out from behind them in the store, timidly waving at me and YunHo like children trying to hide the fact that they broke a rule or something. YunHo didn’t say much, but I was particularly interested as to why those two were holding hands.
“He’s got a girl now too.” Jerry said admiringly, “Lucky.”
“The girl’s a freak can’t you see that?” HanBang slapped Jerry at the back of his head, “She’s pale like YoungWoong’s boyfriend, she has fiery orange hair with scary black doll like eyes! She’s crazy!”
“I think the orange suits her...” Naru remarked.
“And you quit hiding behind that cup! I can see that you’re not drinking. Your freaking Adam’s apple isn’t moving!”
He got me there.
It didn’t look like HanBang was pleased at all ever since we first met today.
World looked distressed and the other three looked normal. It’s only World and HanBang that has a problem. They always were the hot tempered ones. They didn’t like sudden changes made without warning.
As I set the cup down I could feel everyone’s stares. I grew anxious by the second after my hands left the warm cup. The atmosphere grew cold like the winter air outside.
So what, I admitted that I’m dating YunHo, a guy. What’s wrong with that? As long as love is there nothing matters right?
...Wait I love him? Did I really say love? Is there love? What?
Anyway they asked first on why I’m hanging around with YunHo now. It’s better to tell the truth rather than a lie right?
“So...” Jerry, who sat on the seat next to mines, looked down, twiddled his fingers then looked back at me tentatively, “You’re gay? OW!”
HanBang scowled as he took another smack around Jerry’s head, “Of course he’s gay! He’s going out with a guy! When a guy and another guy go out with each other what else would you call that?!”
Thankfully HanBang kept his volume low so that the other people in the place couldn’t hear. Otherwise I would’ve been in deep shit right now. Things would get so much more awkward and I would finally understand what it’s like to be the city’s most hated man.
But to be honest I haven’t really decided if I’m gay or not. I could be bisexual. But how do I find out?
“I don’t know...” I replied as I looked down at the edge of the table.
World sighed before leaning over the table to give me a hard stare, “Look are you a fag or not? It’s a yes or no question YoungWoong.”
CheonWoo noticed my uncomfortable expression and held World back by the arm, “Hey he said he doesn’t know.”
“I’m not deaf!” World flared at CheonWoo, “I just want to get things clear.”
“Hey what’s going on here?” Hero said as he came over with a tray of three cups in his hands.
I looked up and saw YunHo. His expression turned into worry when I shown him my helpless expression. I needed help, I didn’t know how to handle this on my own.
He grew even more worried when he saw World’s angry face and his body position where it looked like he was about to lunge a punch at me.
“Leave JaeJoong alone. It’s my fault.” YunHo stated as he came over to my side, “I stuck onto him first.”
“He had a choice whether to choose you or not. It was his decision whether to become a gay sissy or not.” HanBang spat angrily as he took a step up to YunHo, “And since when did you decide to get a tan?”
Now that he pointed it out YunHo’s skin had turned a lot darker. He had the normal peachy skin yesterday but now it looks like it had just been freshly tanned. Did he visit the tanning shop behind my back?
“YoungWoong you were always sissy looking guy.” World said as he straightened his posture, “To be honest I hated you at first. Rich, cold and a stuck up punk. But my impression of you changed when you went up against me that day. I never told you this before, but I actually respected you ever since then.”
I looked over at World’s direction in acknowledgement as to what he had just said. He looked a lot more collected now.
“I could tell from your eyes and your body language that you didn’t like the way you were living. You hated it didn’t you? You wanted to run away from it all. That’s why I let you join my gang. Not because you were a tool with amazing fighting skills, I gave you a chance and a place where you can feel free and rebel from your shitty life and be yourself for once. Throw a little anger away you know?”
So I wasn’t a tool to them. I never was.
“We’re all good friends right? We’ve been together for years. So why didn’t you tell us when this prick started to bug you like a leech?” he pointed at YunHo who had remained silent all this time, “You didn’t even call us ever since you moved. We called you once, we thought you might phone back later. But no, you didn’t. Are we even friends to you?”
He was right. I was getting too involved with my life in Jeju to even catch up with these guys. Then again they can’t blame me for living in a village that is full of vampires. Should I tell them about the vampires? Would they even be able to handle it let alone believe me? I just told them I’m in a relationship with YunHo as well...
“So what do you not want hyung to be gay? Do you hate gays?” Hero commented as he set down the tray of drinks and gave a questioning look at World.
“I just didn’t think YoungWoong would be the sissy type. I didn’t think he would submit to his feminine side and fall for a guy.”
Suddenly YunHo spoke, “JaeJoong hasn’t told me that he loved me yet.”
We all looked over at him. He was like an emotionless statue, empty, cold and lifeless. He didn’t even take a look at me.
Admittedly I haven’t told him I love him yet. But I did say I liked him right? Isn’t that enough? Do I really have to confirm things with the word love? Give me some time man!
“So?” HanBang took a step back still bearing the intimidating expression on his face.
YunHo then looked over at me, “So he isn’t gay really. He’s just experimenting. Isn’t that right?”
I couldn’t help but feel hurt by those words. Yes, I may be using this as an experiment to see how long I could tolerate him for, but they way he said it made me feel ever so guilty for even doing it. Maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to this relationship at all...
But remembering a few days back I realised that I can’t live without being in the same place as him...
World closed his eyes temporarily in thought before he opened them again to take out his wallet, “Fine,” he then slammed some money onto the tray, “If he can experiment so can I.”
We watched from our spot as he headed towards the door, “We’re going to Club Mirotic.”
“What for?” CheonWoo asked.
“For my experiment.”
“What? Now?” Hero moaned, “Me and YoungRi haven’t even had our hot chocolate with whipped cream yet!”
World rolled his eyes, “Meet me tonight at 9 in Club Mirotic. You know which VIP room.”
Later that night we did as we were told and went over to Club Mirotic at 9.
We left Hero and YoungRi back at CheonWoo’s house, they were both underage. Well YoungRi by appearance she looked underage, even if she had an ID card no one would’ve believed that she was an 80 year old – she is a vampire after all.
None of us knew what World was up to. We couldn’t even contact even ever since he left the coffee shop, his phone was turned off. It made HanBang feel immensely distressed to be hanging around with people that seemed to be on my side.
I tried to stay as close as I could next to YunHo, but he would always move away from me slightly. Was I being a bit too clingy? Was he getting bored of me? I couldn’t tell. His expression was unreadable, especially under the dimly lit street that we were on. It made me feel uneasy.
As we neared the club I could hear the music from the inside, loud as fuck as usual. A long line of people waiting outside. But unusually the line was made up of girls only, no guys. Was it ladies night tonight? Wasn’t it Tuesdays that was ladies night? Isn’t it a Wednesday today?
“Whoa look at those ladies.” Naru said excitedly as we walked past them, giving them a sleazy seductive look.
The girls were either busy talking to a friend or treating him as air. I noticed some had their eyes on me, some that looked familiar, some that used to be my fuck buddy. Oh shit. I see Ahyoomee.
Instantly I walked away from the line of girls and away from YunHo in the process of doing so. YunHo didn’t seem to notice at all.
What was going on?
After passing through the door since the bouncer recognised us the place was already packed full – of girls that is. Even the bar tenders were girls.
World then appeared from our right with two glass cups of alcohol in his hands and a half naked girl on each arm, “Finally you’re here!”
He looked drunk already. How long was he here for? And where did he get these plastics from?
“You guys head over to the VIP room, I need a little chat with JaeJoong first. Marie, Nina, take these guests up.”
I watched as the two voluptuous girls walked away with the others in between them. Before YunHo turned to follow I looked over at him, hoping that he would offer to stay with me, but he never did, he just followed the rest away from me.
I could feel my heart constrict just then, again I felt alone and lost even though I’ve been in this club many times before.
World led me over to the bar that was lighted with a mix of dark red and purple. I looked down at the dance floor that was lit in bright pale yellow filled with female clubbers, no signs of a male at all. It seemed like only we were the only men in the place right now. It felt unnerving.
“Here.”
A cocktail was then handed down to me by World.
“Thanks.”
World laid back against the table top on his seat and took a sip from his glass, “How long has it been since we were here for the first time together like this?”
I took a sip as well before answering, “Five years?”
World laughed, “What, you’re not even drunk yet and you still can’t remember? Six years YoungWoong! Six! Not Five!”
I frowned, “Sorry.”
“Really YoungWoong really...” he muttered before downing his cup.
“So what is this experiment of yours?” I asked bluntly before I took another sip – this time it stung the back of my throat.
He leaned over, “You really want to know?”
I nodded.
His eyes focus then moved onto something else behind me, “its coming.”
Suddenly I felt long slender fingers grab my arms and I was immediately pulled off my chair. Before I could even see the faces of the girls that just grabbed me they stripped me of my coat and threw it carelessly to the floor.
As I was dragged down the stairs to the dance floor I looked over and saw World walking towards the VIP rooms with my coat in his arms.
Well, at least my expensive D&G coat won’t get stolen.
I found myself in the middle of the dance floor. The girls that pulled me here had disappeared and I was lost in a sea of salacious women.
Before I could even plan to get out of here they noticed me and started moving in my direction with their gigantic implants. Lust clouded over their eyes as they started to grind and attempt to seduce me with their bodies clothed in very little clothing.
It was now that I have noticed that what these ladies were wearing now was really no different to the clothes that they must’ve worn to this club years ago. Compared from then to now I actually felt disgusted by these young women who were selling their bodies off to men on the dance floor. I don’t know how the heck I actually bedded these whores without feeling disgusted with myself.
Maybe I should intoxicate myself first and see.
“JaeJoong! JaeJoong!”
Oh God no.
“JaeJoongie!”
Fuck she’s here. Must run...
“JAEJOONG!” something shrieked with happiness as I was attacked from the back by no other than Ahyoomee Lee, “I MISSED YOU!”
I’m screwed.
“Since when did you come back to Seoul? Why didn’t you text me! Why didn’t you call me when you moved to Jeju! Why didn’t you even tell me that you were moving! Oh I missed you so much baby!” she whined as she nuzzled her face onto my back.
She felt like slime. Disgusting filthy slime.
“I just had to come here when World texted me that you were coming here tonight! Every girl in our school came running here with their friends from other schools and towns just to see you!”
So this was all World’s doing.
“Aish, how can these whores still be attracted to you when you have me here.” She glared angrily at all the other girls that didn’t cease to approach me, “Back off bitches! He’s mine!”
That just started everything off.
The girls’ eyes all narrowed, their nostrils flared as they glared at Ahyoomee. I needed to peel her off quick before I end up being in the middle of a potential cat fight.
“Get off me.” I said as I tried prying her hands off my neck.
They wouldn’t budge.
A second later she shrieked, “OW!”
It was then that my neck was free of her hold. The other girls started attacking her.
Finally I could see open space so I attempted to make a run for it. Leaving Ahyoomee behind, she deserved it anyway. She was just as low as the other girls there.
Unluckily for me before I could even reach the stairs I was pulled back into the crowd by a bunch of girls that had noticed my escape.
“Where do you think you’re going?” a tinny voice spoke from behind.
“Away from you.”
“Jae yah! Don’t you remember me? The 89th girl you banged?” a girl said as she approached me.
Oh God how many of these whores did I bed?
“Beat me I was the 24th AND the 60th!” another girl said as she pushed past the other girl.
Was I high on drugs in the past? Why the fuck did I bed these women? They didn’t even look pretty. Their makeup was slapped on horribly, their fashion sense was terrible and their hands...dry and disgusting, they can’t even paint their nails right without looking like a prostitute. Then again they all looked like potential prostitutes. Heck they make geeky girls a hell of a lot sexier.
“Whatever! He’s mine tonight!” another girl proclaimed before she actually started to bend down for a kiss on the lips.
Instinctively I turned my head to avoid the nearing lips but I accidentally met another pair instead. That’s right. My lips touched another’s, apart from YunHo, for the first time in months.
I didn’t like the feeling either, it was slimy and horrible. This girl had too much lip gloss on. Way too much.
What’s worse was that she even tried to tongue me.
All of the sudden I heard a bang coming from the VIP rooms. At the same time I felt something cold and unpleasant watching me, a pair of angry eyes I presume.
When she had pulled away I noticed the large window from above from one of the VIP rooms. YunHo was there, watching me, his eyes burning with fury.
Oh shit.
I saw him leave the window and soon he was walking along the corridor above the dance floor towards the door to leave. He didn’t even take another look at me. He opened the door, stepped out and then slammed it behind him.
Fine then Jung don’t save me.
With one move I shoved the girl away from me and used brute strength to push past the rest so I could make to the stairs. Not many bothered to aim for me really, many were too bothered on starting a cat fight for the girl that managed to kiss me by pure luck.
As I climbed the stairs I wiped off the horrible lip gloss off my lips with the sleeves of my shirt, it stained my shirt bright pink – I hope I could wash it off easily.
I felt even more distant from YunHo now that he had left. Surely he must’ve seen that it was accidental. I didn’t mean to kiss her.
As I neared the door I was stopped by the bouncers.
“So you aren’t gay YoungWoong.” World said as he threw me my coat, “Bisexual perhaps?”
“You had your fun now World. Thanks for screwing up my relationship with YunHo.” I growled angrily as I slipped my arms through my coat.
His amused expression suddenly turned sorrowful, “Sorry. I didn’t think that I would make things worse. I think your guy took it the wrong way, he didn’t even bother to notice your horrified expression after you got kissed like that. He just kicked the table and left without a word.”
I took a step towards him, “What kind of experiment was that anyway?”
“Just to see if you really liked that guy or if you were just playing around with him and would jump at the chance if a desperate bitch came up to you.” He shrugged, “Cheating’s bad you know Kim. You don’t experiment. You either date with mutual feelings or stay away from each other with different feelings. You can’t just like, it’s either hate or love when it comes to relationships. Like is used for a friend.”
He then waved off the bouncers from the door, leaving me a clean exit.
“I’m not homophobic. But I just wanted to guide you onto the right path that’s all. If you go run after him now it shows that you love and care about his feelings right?”
I gave him a quick nod before I exited the doors leaving him in my dust.
It was snowing outside, everything was dark. The streets were empty and yet I couldn’t even see YunHo at all. Did he really just disappear away from me like that? Didn’t I ask him to promise me that he would never leave me no matter what?
Where do I go to look for him?
My phone suddenly went off.
“Hello?”
“Hyung! I heard what happened from CheonWoo. I hope you don’t think too badly of World! He did it because he cared about you like an over-protective guardian! He just wanted you to be on the right path.”
“I know.”
“So do you like oppa?” I heard YoungRi’s voice, “You love him right?”
My mouth froze, I couldn’t say it. My mind was still unsure but my heart and body has already decided. Could it be that I was too afraid to admit it? Too afraid of what others might think, took afraid that the future ahead could be hard for us?
I have nothing against vampires but I don’t like the idea of being one myself...
“Oi? You there?”
“Ah um-”
“Listen you, you better give oppa a reply soon. I won’t tell you any more than this but oppa really loves you, I know, he’s already prepared something special for you. So you better give him a good response!”
Something special?
“You hear that?” Hero’s voice came back, “Come on hyung I can tell you love him really. I saw you blush countless times at the mention of his name before that ball, it looked like you even missed him at that time. If that’s not love I don’t know what it is.”
Maybe, just maybe...I do love him.