Fan Fiction |
by yn_ean
“Yah…” she smiled and stared at her fingers on her lap.
I really want to start a new conversation again…but don’t know how.
“I like SOS…I'm a fan of your sister” nice start zai, but not the latter. The smile playing on her lips all the time faded.
Now what did you do?! In all the trigger words, why that?!
“Actually…she’s my age…that’s why…” she cut me.
“Really? She’s 19…” her smile was back again.
“I'm 19 too…” I smiled back.
That’s when I didn’t regret following my mother. We chatted for hours until the party ended.
“I’m happy meeting you…”she held out her hand.
“I’m glad too…” I held her hand, it was soft and warm.
“I’ll be seeing you in the first day…bye!” she smiled and bowed then walk out of the room.
“Bye…”I called out. Everything was worth it, now I have a reason to find this all exciting.
The first day of shooting came. She looked more endearing in blouse and jeans, and with her hair tied up.
“Hello!” she chirped to everybody and stopped in front of me.
“ni hao Zaizai!” she was glowing with happiness.
“ni hao!” I answered back
I was nervous knowing I’ll be appearing in millions of people’s TV set. Da S was sitting beside me and might have noticed it that she suddenly held my hand in hers.
“Don’t worry! You know you can do it! It’s not only you…it’s my first time also” I don’t know why I felt the whole world is cheering on me while she said those encouraging words. I don’t know the effect it did until Miss Angie read my week review from the director.
“I know I have chosen the right guy when I first saw you. According to your director, you have done what’s expected from you; you portrayed your character very well…just keep on improving!” Miss Angie beamed at me and I humbly smiled back. I didn’t notice my improvement; all my eyes are occupied, owned by one girl always stealing the scene.
I and Da S got close to each other on the first week; we eat together, read scripts together, spend free time on the set together and even joke around together. F3 made it even more enjoyable, they were really good friends, together we make a good gang just like in the series. We love to joke around; sometimes I tell jokes to them, but cold jokes all the time, the 3 just couldn’t laugh, but to my surprise she’d be the only one laughing at my punch line, and it makes me feel proud, she’s the only girl I knew who could understand me more than my mom.
I don’t know what I feel for her, but I sure know it was something positive. There was a part in the series that she would cry and I was supposed to stop it from falling by doing a handstand. When she cried my heart crumpled, why was it suppose to sound so real? I was fighting my hand who is about to wipe it dry, which I'm sure I shouldn’t. All was an act, if I follow my instincts I’ll get myself embarrass. I didn’t follow my instincts and I didn’t do the task I was supposed to do either, I just sat and stared at her crying.
“Aren’t you suppose to do a handstand?” she asked curiously.
How stupid can I get?
“Yah…I forgot” I laughed at myself and so did she, all the traces of tears were gone.
Today was the day I have been waiting for. I have practiced it at my apartment over and over again. It would be the part where I would kiss her on her cheek. My palms are getting sweaty; I have been fidgeting with them while I waited for the director to shout ‘action.’ Then I tried to wipe my lips, checking if any dirt was on it, I don’t want her face to get dirty, and I don’t want the first feel of my lips would be rough to her.
The scene started, and before I knew it we were face to face. I never hesitated any second and kiss her. The feel of her skin was soft and smooth; I can’t deny the fact that I want to do it again.
Everything after that went smooth. I realized I was starting to fall for her every minute. But this certain event I will never forget…We’re shooting for a certain scene on the boat part where she’ll discover we’re on board. She arrived late on the shooting.
“Well, well, well…look who’s late? Any traces of a hangover there?” Ken joked around early in the morning
“What are you talking about Xiao Tian?” she retorted.
“Just wondering who are you with last night…was it Lan?” Ken smiled mischievously.
“Who is Lan?” I asked confused.
“You don’t know Lan? Lan Zhen Long? Blue?” Ken asked me.
“Who…” I was still confused.
“He’s my boyfriend Zaizai” she told me while glaring at Ken.
My heart shattered with her words. Of course what do you expect? She’s beautiful, smart and nice to talk to, why wouldn’t she have a boyfriend?! I was close to breaking down and decided to excuse myself and go to the nearest bathroom.
But I seems like every sad part has a worthy exchange. I get to dance her later that night. She felt right in my arms, why couldn’t I get that thought of my mind? I'm falling for her and its true.
Every time we’re together it always seemed right. Every moment has a place in my heart. Especially this scene, I get to kiss her and her to hold me.
“10 min.…no…5 min. it’s enough, I could take it at day but not at night” the words were true, so true. I didn’t know there were real tears falling but wasn’t obvious. Suddenly I was panic-stricken when I realized I was stuck in her bra clasp. Tian ne! Why now? I doný’t want to embarrass her, even myself. I didn’t move a muscle; she was the one who remove it, having a good laugh at the end. The next scene is where I would be kissing her. When she said those words, words I really wanted to hear from her and not from San Cai, tears came streaming down my face effortlessly. I kissed her, kissed her tenderly, from forehead, nose, and those tender lips I’ve been yearning to kiss. Trying to savor each moment and treasure it in my heart, it’s a sad thought that it’ll end so soon. I never thought it’ll hurt that much…
Everything after that was fast; I haven’t noticed we have been nearing the end already. I can’t imagine a week without her sweet face. She was my confidante, my big sister she said, my love I said. She’s the only one who understands me, my jokes which they call cold, and all my expressions even how hard I try to hide, she was accurate in guessing. She told me I was like Xiao S, and asked me to call her Jie Jie which I agreed, she called me Di di. How it hurt, I just want to void all my emotions thinking about it, but it was impossible. She was happy, I'm not supposed to be sad, and I need to be happy for her, happy for her successful life. I tried to banish my feelings each day, thinking I’ll never have her and trying to avoid her as I could.
But it was all useless; she would always stay beside me, show me her wide smiles and would give me a hug once in while.
Then…we have to say goodbye.
“Congratulations everybody!!! You all did a good job!!” miss Angie proudly stood in the center of the room giving her message for the series crew and actors.
“Man! That was fast, I can’t believe we finished it already” Vanness said to the three of us.
“I didn’t expect we’re starting singing careers…”Ken laughed.
“All of it was great, but I’ll never forget the experience…” Bao Long added.
I was the only one silent; I know attending this farewell party isn’t a good idea at all. She came with her boyfriend, Lan, she was so pretty I can’t help but stare, but staring at her can’t avoid looking at her at the eye, so I did my best not to look, or else she’ll approach and sit here with me, and I can’t bear it. All those times we’ve spent, all those happy days of her, all of it I have to erase from my memory, I have to stop liking her, I can’t be like this forever.
Even though how hard I tried to avoid her she still approached me at the end of the party. I was at the balcony of the hotel; she stood beside me and stared at the evening sights of the city also. Her boyfriend wasn’t with her at that time, so it would be a good time to speak with her, but my coward ness got the best of me, I stood there speechless and waited or her to speak up.
“What’s wrong?” she asked with a worried tone. She wasn’t looking at me, continued to stare at the passing cars down on the streets.
“I’m really happy the series was successful. You and Bao Long were a good hit!” I laughed but deep inside I was aching. I want to hug her that time, hug her and never let go of her, hug her and make her feel right in my arms, that’s all I wanted.
“Yah! Big hit, but I never liked the team up of San Cai and Dao Ming Si” she said still not looking at me, but I was looking at her already surprised.
“You don’t?” I was expecting her answer, she looked at me and smiled shyly.
“I have always wanted Hua Ze Lei for San Cai…he’s really a great guy” she giggled and stared at the sky.
“he understands her well, makes her laugh, makes her heart jump…he plays the violin well…he likes looking at the blue sky and the bright stars…he was selfless…never thinks of himself first…It has to be F3 and of course, San Cai’s feelings that is important…that’s why he gave her up” she looked at me with teary eyes, eyes that were about to cry. “he shouldn’t have…because if he didn’t San Cai should’ve chosen him over Ah si…never telling her what he really feels made her expect for nothing and it was also giving up for her…they both love each other, unfortunately at the wrong time” she wiped her eyes and laughed “you’ve been playing Hua Ze Lei all the time, you should have known he’s true feelings, you should’ve played he’s role like you were him” she added hitting me playfully at the arm.
I know…coz I did.
“Yah…I think so, don’t worry Jie, I’ll do better next time” I smiled back at her.
“You still haven’t answered my questions…”this time she was seriously looking at me.
“What question?” I asked even though I knew.
“What’s wrong? You haven’t approached me all night…” she said looking through my eyes looking for any visible signs of my answer. Sorry, that is where the actor in me comes out, pretend.
“Nothing, I was thinking you want to have private time with your boyfriend” I joked.
“What private time are you talking about? He hasn’t even kissed me yet” she answered back. I was surprised.